Don't Fry Wolf!
by Terrahfry
Summary: Fry is bitten by a strange creature on a planet obsessed with french culture. Now he finds himself turning into a werewlof. FryxBender, not really fluff, that could change.
1. An Earthican werewolf on Planet de Paris

**First off 1; I don't own Futurama I have nothing to gain from this. I don't own any of the following movies that may be parodied or mentioned throughout; 'Am American werewolf in London', 'An American werewolf in Paris', 'Cursed', 'Silver Bullet', etc. I also don't own the songs 'Werewolves of London', or 'Li'l Red Riding Hood'. All use of anything to do with werewolves in the media are used strictly for parody purpose. Also, I don't own Disney.**

**First Off 2; I didn't like the movie script style in which this story was typed. So I changed it. It has nothing to do with the review I recieved, I was already planning to change it before I posted anymore chapters. **

**With that said this is sorta a parody of werewolf movies, I have been obsessed with werewolves since I was five. I got the idea from 'The Honking', where in Bender is transformed into a werecar. The episode parodies werewolf and some other horror movies. This is not a sequel and showcases some key differences. I wanted this fanfiction to be a sarcastic tribute to werewolves not really a parody of werewolf movies. Some scenes will sound like they were tore from movies like, 'An American werewolf in Paris'. This is intentional, but I didn't want it to be a carbon-copy. Also, I took a break from my other two stories that I didn't feel like I was doing too good with. I am not that good at fluff or romance. This does not mean I'm abandoning them. I'm not a comedian by trade either, so I don't care if you find my jokes lame. I'm not apologizing if this story sucks to you. I am proud of this one, so if you hate it I don't care. And as a last note; this story has FryxBender, its not really fluff or a romance, they just are together. Why? Because I say so. Sorry for the long ass introduction this will be the last intro, I hope. Oh and it has been rated for gruesome content to be safe. The language isn't that bad. There is some adult content, but that may not get pornographic. But then again, I could change my mind. **

**Don't Fry Wolf!**

_By TerrahFry._

_Chapter One:_

_'An Earthican werewolf on Planet de Paris'._

Opening seqeunce: "Best read while listening to Warren Zevon's _'Werewolves of_ _London'."_

Planet Express building, Conference room:

Group siting at the table, in attendance; Captain Turanga Leela, delivery boy first class Philip J. Fry, Bender Bending Rodriguez, intern Amy Wong, Dr. John Zoidberg, and bereaucrat grade 36 Hermes Conrad. Conducting a long boring meeting regarding long boring meetings. Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth walked in.

"Good news everyone," greated the companies owner, "You'll be delivering a giant crate of moldy smelly cheese to Planet de Paris."

"Wait a minute, isn't that the giant planet that Paris Hilton's head purchased in 2909?" Leela stated

"Yah, I hear the whole planet is made up of shopping malls and night clubs!" Amy chimed in excitedly.

"No, you're thinking of Tinkerbell 8." Professor corrected.

"I thought that was a Disney planet." Fry raised his hand as if he was in school.

"Wrong again idiot. No, 'Planet de Paris' was formed in 2889 by some snotty British people obsessed with the french culture, mainly Paris France. It was to commemorate the thousand year aniversary of the Eiffel Tower." Professor explained. Fry raised his hand again.

"When are we going to the Disney Planet? They opened up a new ride, Space boy Mountain." Fry asked. Leela rolled her eye at the question.

"You're thinking of Six Flags, its here on Earth. There is no Disney planet." She explained.

Then phone rings, Farnsworth answers. "Yes, I see." he hangs up.

"Who was that, Professor?" Leela asked.

"Terrible news. I have just been informed that if the writer doesn't stop using the word 'Disney', then she will be most likely sued. Oh my yes. No matter, off you go." The Professor motions them away with his hand as he makes his exit.

On the ship: Leela at the helm. Fry in his usual seat. Bender laying back feet propped up and smoking a cigar. The automaton takes a long puff and blows the gray smoke in the air.

"I don't get it. I thought French was a dead language." Fry inquires.

"Something you don't get. Wow, thats unusual." Bender says sarcasm in his voice.

"Well, we've actually never been clear on that. French is a dead language on Earth, but French people still exist and so does the Eiffel Tower and Paris." Leela said.

Fry looks at the cyclops confused for a moment. "Well as long as there aren't any werewolves like I watched in that movie."

"Fry, werewolves aren't real." Leela says seriously.

"But mutants and aliens and robots are real." The delivery boy insists folding his arms.

"Yes, but vampires and werewolves are not." Leela states slightly frustrated by Fry's persistence.

"What about that one planet we visited?" Fry asked, "It had vampires."

"Those were a bread of alien vampires. If they bit you, you'd just die. None of that turning into one crap." Leela explains.

"Zombies and bigfoot exist." Fry huffs.

Leela sighs at Fry's continued persistence. Bender gets up and puts his hands on Fry's shoulders.

"Aw, don't worry, Fry. I'll protect you from the big bad wolf." he assures. Fry looks up at the robot and smiles.

As the ship approaches 'Planet de Paris', the dark matter signal comes on.

"Oh no, we're out of dark matter," Leela looks back at her crew, "Fry! I thought I told you to tell Bender to make sure the ship had enough fuel."

Fry slaps his head with his hand, "Ohh, I knew I forgot something."

Bender and Leela exchanged a look that told Fry they weren't surprised by his imcompetence.

"Nibblers not with us. Engines are failing. We're gonna CRASH!" Leela yelled frantic. Fry and Bender gasped as the one-eyed captain was desperately trying everything in her power to prevent it.

"Prepare for impact." Leela buckled herself in as did Fry.

Bender scoffs at the idea as usual, "Those things cost more lives than they save."

"Ohh no. You buckle up. I don't want another incident like we had in Roswell." Leela commands. Bender rolls his eyes and straps himself in. All three members of the terrified crew scream as the ship crashes into the ground.

"Is everybody alright?" Leela asks looking around.

"Yah, I guess so." Fry coughs.

"No, I'm suing the Professor for damages." The robot holds his metal head.

"But you look fine." Leela says dusting herself off.

"I'm not on the inside." Bender whines opening his chest cabinet door to reveal some beer bottles broken. The liquid has soaked his cigars and is spilling onto the floor of the ship.

"Fry, go check and see if we have any dark matter left over." Leela says pointing to the back of the ship.

Fry puts his hand to his forehead in salute. "Can do." Fry exits the room.

"I'll see if the phones are working." Leela begins fumbling with the phone and gets static on the screne. "Oh crud, we have no phones."

"Captain, I have good news and bad news." Fry salutes again upon entering.

"Whats the bad news?" Leela asks apathetic.

"We have no dark matter."

"Whats the good news?" Leela sighs.

"I found a can of Slurm on the way." Fry chugs down the day old Slurm, then burps.

"We're in the middle of nowhere. It's nightfall and we'll have to stay here until morning." Leela informs.

"What about booze? We're all cleaned out." Bender points out his only concern.

"Theres a tavern about a mile from here." Leela informs.

"Wait a second," Fry cuts in, "Wouldn't they have dark matter?"

"Hay, yah." Bender cuts in.

"No, this is a very old fashioned part of the planet. They still drive horse and buggy. Without the hovers." Leela explains.

"So primitive." Fry shudders.

"Welp. I'm going to the tavern. Wanna come Fry? All alone in the dark and scary woods." Bender looks over at the easily coaxed delivery boy.

"Sure, okay." Fry agrees, they start to leave, Leela stops them.

"Becareful you two. Here take a lazer gun." She hands Bender the weapon.

Fry and Bender walked through the darkened woods. The only light was that of a full moon, hung low in the sky. The yellowish orb stalked them as they made their way to the tavern. A chill swept up around them as leaves and branches crunched underneath their feet, owls could be heard hooing. It was almost like it was a stern, 'You're not welcome here', from the filthy creatures.

"Bender, I don't think this was such a great idea." The human's eyes darted around the wooded area.

"Fry, you know I need liquor. Besides we have a gun, nothings gonna bother us. Also, hello, I'm a robot." Bender reassures.

"Yah, I guess you're..." Fry pauses as he hears a noise, "Whats that?" A owl flys off a branch above them.

"Aww, you're so cute when you're scared." Bender wraps his arm around the nervous red-heads waist.

At the tavern, _'Le Loup Garou'_ :

Bender walks in, following him a anxious Fry. Instantly the tavern patrons take notice of the new comers. All go silent and watch them as they make their way to the bar. Fry can literally feel their eyes burning holes in him. There was an aura that hung in the air like the stench of that moldy cheese. They weren't welcome there. Ofcourse Fry is the only one who can feel this.

"Bonjour, barkeep. I'll have four 'Olde Fortrans' and Fry?" Bender sat down on a stool.

Fry struggles to keep his voice steady, "I'll have a LoBrau, please."

The bartender nods and gets them their liquor. A typical looking french dude sits down on Bender's left side. Fry, who is on Bender's right, caustious looks over at him.

"Earthicans I see, and not just Earthicans, Americans." The guy says in a real thick french accent, He reeked of moldy..uh, something.

"What are you doing here smelly Americans?" The french guy continued.

"Hay, my showers broken." Fry defended.

"Our ship broke down." Bender replied drinking, not bothering to look at the french jerk.

"Well you are, how you say, far from nowhere." The french guy went on.

"Yah, we know. Now can't you see I'm trying to drink?" Bender took another sip irritated at the guy who was insisting on bothering them.

Various species inside the tavern begin to whisper, still staring holes through them. This still totally undetected by Bender who continues to guzzle bottle after bottle.

"Shouldn't that hold you until tomorrow Bender. I wanna leave." Fry tugged on the robots arm beginning to sound desperate.

"Quit your whinning, you know I have to power up."  
"We don't like your type around here Americans. You're, how you say, cursed." The french guy insulted.

Bender scoffs not amused, "We've only been told that eleven times this week."

"You need to get away from this place Americans. You're not welcome here." The french guy warns sternly.

"Well leave when I'm done." Bender looks over at him finally, eyes narrowed.

"B..Bender. Lets go, please." Fry pleads nervously. Bender turns a softer gaze to Fry, then sighs.

"Oh alright." Bender threw some money down and they walked toward the door. Bender took his last drink, sat the bottle on someone's table and burped. Patrons gasped at the flames from the robots mouth.

"Oh, like your manners are any better, shesh" The eyes followed the two as they exited the tavern.

"Wow, Bender. You actually paid for something and kept your cool when that french guy was hounding us. I have to admit I'm very proud." Fry patted him on the shoulder.

"Eh, I could've told that jerkwad to bite my shiny metal ass. But that would of alerted him to the fact that I stole his wallet. Drinks were on frenchy." Bender tossed the wallet in his chest cabinet.

Halfway through the woods; Fry was latched onto Bender and the conversation hadn't turned from the bar incident not one time.

"I don't know what you're worried about. So they didn't like Americans, who the hell does?" Bender pointed out.

"Those people seemed weirld." Fry contested.

"Eh they were french, what do you expect?" The robot asked.

"I just didn't like the way they were staring at us." Fry continued.

"Well, I don't know why they were staring at you. But me, lets just say Bender draws a crowd of admirers wherever he goes." Bender said arrogantly.

Fry stared at the cocky robot, "Yah, yah, whatever."

The light-hearted fun was interrupted when a low growl rose from behind a bush causing Fry to yell and jump behind Bender.

"T..t..tell me you h..heard that?" Fry stammered.

Bender opened his chest door and pulled out a flashlight. He turned it on causing it make a soft click as he held the button down. He shined the not too bright beam towards the bush from which the noise had came. The bush rustled then shook a bit violently as if something had moved from behind it quickly.

"Its probably just another owl." Bender assured.

Then out of the silence they heard a long howl.

"That was no owl." Fry yelled, voice full of fear.

The two took off running, screaming their terror. Then Bender tripped over a branch, Fry who was looking back to see if they were being followed, tripped over Bender. The human landed face first, and quiet hard, in the dirt with a thud and a agonized groan.

"Fry? If I didn't know that you had nothing, I'd sue you." Bender said sourly. "I...mean are you okay?" He changed his tune.

"Oww, I'm okay." Fry touched his fingertips to the scrap on his face. He winced at the stinging pain it caused.

"I don't see the ship. I think we're lost." Bender Stood up and looked around.

"Oh no! The flashlights dead!" Fry smacked the light then started beating it on the ground. The futuristic flashlight busted and the batteries spilled out onto the cold ground.

"Great, now we're in the dark." Bender said sarcastically.

Bender helped Fry up. They heard another growl, this time it was very close. The scared shitless delivery boy held on to Bender, whimpering in fear. The couple stood frozen in fright. Two red eyes became visible behind them, watching them. Slowly, Fry opened Bender's chest door and felt around for the lazer gun Leela had gave Bender to take with them. He found the gun and pulled it out, his hands shaking too badly to really use it. Plus, he had forgotten how to work it in his time of fear. It was quiet for a while, then suddenly there was a snarl. It was hungry and demonic and right behind the cowering couple.

"Fry..." the robot clears his throat, or at least it sounded that way.

"Y..yes B..Bender." Fry replies whimpering

"If that uh.. wasn't your stomach. Then we're boned."

Fry gulps and the two begin to slowly turn around. They screamed as their eyes met a horrific creature. It loomed over them standing about seven feet in height. Its blood red eyes glaring at what was sure to be its meal, or at least in Fry's case. The beast was covered with thick course brown fur that was mangy and unkempt. It had the snout of a wolf and bared its razor sharp teeth. The beast was drooling. Then suddenly Bender found himself flung against a tree, by its massive arm. The impact shut the robot down. Fry tried to steady the gun to shoot when the creature swiped at him, leaving four long, deep gashes on his chest. Fry hollered out in pain as the strength of the blow threw him back. He landed with an "umf", and began firing aimlessly at the monsterous being. Luckily he hit it twice and the thing ran off yeowling into the night. Fry looked around still terrified he wasn't alone. Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw the moonlight reflect off of a metallic object. He had located Bender. Slowly and very much in pain he crawled over to the life-less automaton. Fry patted the robot.

"Bender...wake..." Fry passed out, languished, with one arm over Bender.

The next morning: Bender found himself re-booted. "I'm back baby!"

"Fry?" Leela's voice drifted into Fry's sleep.

Fry groaned as she shook him awake. Instantly the light hurt his eyes. And he heard ringing in his head.

"Oh my God. Where am..." Fry stopped and opened his eyes wide. 'I survived the attack.' he thought, his mind traveling back to last night.

"Fry, what happened?" Leela asked.

"The creature...it..lastnight." Fry stammered.

"You're not making any sense." Leela looked down at Fry, who was sitting against the tree. His hair was disheveled, the right side of his face red, his clothes stained with dirt and grass. Dried leaves stuck all over him and four large slashes were in his shirt.

"Fry, not making any sense? When ever is that unusual?" Bender said as Leela helped him up.

"Bender, do you remember anything?"

"Nope. We walked to the bar and then theres this missing gap in my memory." Bender double checked his memory, finding nothing.

"Lets get you two back to the ship." Leela sighed. She and Bender helped Fry up and to the ship. They weren't that far from it, but they had gone significantly off course. Once inside, Fry told her the story the best he could remember.

"Oh, please," the cyclops rolled her eye, "you probably just got a little drunk and had a wild time in the woods."

"I do like to get a little rough." Bender proclaimed proudly.

"No, no, no, something attacked us, see." Fry stated frustrated, he lifted up his shirt.

"Fry, I don't see anything." Leela stated checking him over.

Fry looked down, the claw marks were gone. There wasn't even any blood on his shirt. He stared at his chest confused, running his fingers over where the supossed flesh wound should have been. "But but but...I."

"You just have a hangover." Leela assured.

"I only had one beer." Fry contested.

"Now go lie down, I got some dark matter form town, we'll be home soon." Leela says taking her seat.

"What about the smelly cheese?" Bender reminded.

"Oh right. We'll deliver the crate then go home." Leela stands back up.

In what looked like a village: Leela pushed the crate. Stamped on it was the words _'Le Pu's cheese, nothing ever smelled this bad, ever.' _A picture of the looney toons cartoon skunk underneath it. Fry walked along side with the clipboard to be signed. Bender clomped behind them, smoking a cigar, looking for "souvenirs". Villagers who saw the approaching trio began to Stare and whisper. Among the stereotypically dressed french villages were a mix of aliens, humans, and even robots. Some began to hastefully leave the streets and go into their respective buildings and stores, pulling down blinds and putting up _"We're closed, go away" _Signs.

"I swear I've seen this before." Leela thought aloud.

"Leave here Earthicans, leave this planet at once." A town crazy, or at least in Leela's opinion, came up to the crew. Leela looked at him strangely as he pointed an accusing finger at Fry.

"He is cursed." He continued.

"Yah, yah cursed. Thats only the thirteenth time he's been told that this week. What is that like an omen?" Bender put in.

The crazy went inside his store mumbling something in french. Bender took this opportunity to shove some jewelry off of a street cart into his chest cabinet.

"Well that certainly was odd, now come on we have a crate to deliver." Leela started moving on ward. Fry stopped her.

"Didn't you hear him, Leela?" Fry asked. Bender had made his way to another cart snatching various valuables humming while he did so.

"He said I was cursed." Fry continued.

"Look Fry, this town is full of crazies. They left their vendors unattended for God sakes. Plus they eat moldy cheese." Leela contested.

"But how do you explain what I saw in the woods?" Fry raised an eyebrow at the unimpressed mutant.

"Simple, you dreamed it. Now lets get going so we can get home and Hermes can dock our pay."

Planet Express builbing, Employee Lounge and Griping Chamber:

"I'm docking your pay." Hermes said.

"But Hermes, our ship was low on dark matter and we had to spend the night in the woods. Plus, you sent us off at a time when it was dark on that backwards planet." Leela argued.

"I'm sorry, but you should of been back around by noon today." Hermes said.

"But its only 3 p.m." Leela said looking at her wrist communicator.

"Dats no excuse." The anal retentive accountant left and went to his office.

"Hard ass." Leela said voicing her opinion when he was out of ear shot.

Fry plopped down on the couch. His skin had turned a pale greenish color. His eyes blood-shot and slightly puffy, like he had slept too hard.

"Fry, you look terrible. You didn't eat any of that cheese did you?" Leela asked.

Fry shook his head 'no'.

"How about any of the other bad french cuisine?"

Fry shook his head 'no'.

"Maybe you should see Dr. Zoidberg." she insisted.

Fry shook his head 'no'.

"I'll be fine Leela. As soon as I start turning into a monsterous beast." Fry said still insulted no one ever believes him.

Leela looked down at him with her hands on her hips, frustrated "Fry you're not turning into a werewolf. Now if you aren't going to see the doctor and since Hermes is already docking your pay, I suggest you go home and get some rest. You could of gotten alcohol poisoning from that wretched planet for all you know."

Bender walks in whistling, he stops when he sees Fry, whose head is laying on on of the cushions, his butt in the other and feet on the ground.

"Fry are you okay?" he asked.

"Bender, take Fry home."

"Yay, a half a day off." Bender replied with his arms up in triumph.

"No, I want you back here to help clean the ship." Leela folded her arms.

"But, Leela, I can't leave Fry by himself while he's like this. He could get worse." Bender brings down his arms.

Leela rolled her eye and sighed. "Alright, call me if he does."

Bender holds his arms up in triumph again, "Yay, a half day off." Bender picks Fry up and carries him out the door.

"Amy, time to scrub the ship." Leela calls.

"I'll get my bikini." Amy yells back from another room.

The robot's footcups can be heard thumping as he walks toward the Robot Arms Apartments. The very weak human's arms wrapped loosely around what can be considered the robot's shoulders.

"You doing okay, Fry?" Bender asks.

Fry nods.

"Good. Just don't puke on me."

They arrive at the apartment complex. Bender puts Fry in bed and covers him up.

"If you need anything just yell. Oh, I forgot. I picked you up something." By that he meant he stole it. He opened his chest door and starts searching around. "Let me see...no...no..aha here it is."

He pulls out a sterling silver watch.

"Aww it's lovely Bender. I love when you steal gifts for me." Fry replies taking the watch weakly. He kisses the robot on the cheek and lays the watch on the bedside table.

"I'll ware it when I'm feeling better." Fry adds.

Bender leaves to go watch television. Fry finally gets a break from the pounding in his head when he falls asleep.

**Okay first off, I don't know much about french language so if something is a miss, I apologize for that. Loup garou means werewolf in French. **

**Also, I apologize for any missed spelling, or typing, errors. But, I'm still not apologizing if you think this story sucks. **

**Chapter Two will be up soon.**


	2. Cursed I mean Boned

**This chapter came about from the joke about 'Planet de Paris' and 'Tinkerbell 8' from chapter one. Futurama has a lot of guest celebrities, so I thought I'd just make fun of some myself.**

**Don't Fry Wolf!**

_By: TerrahFry._

_Chapter Two:_

_Cursed...I Mean Boned_

_Opening Sequence: "Not a sequel to the Honking."_

Robot Arms Apartments:

If you want to talk to Philip J. Fry about night terrors he had them. Most of the rest of the day he was a awake and giving Bender fits. Then night fell and the two turned in, but not even the 20th century flu virus was worse to deal with. Fry woke up twice in a hot sticky sweat, the sheets soaked. When he was asleep he had nightmares about running through the woods. These weren't normal dreams with adds in them or fuzzy visions that you could tell were dreams. They were realistic, dark, and sinister. Then in the dream he'd stop and see something standing in front of him. He never got to finish the dream, he'd wake up screaming never remembering what the hell he had saw. Then Bender would hold him and lull him back to sleep.

The next day: Planet Express Building; Conference Room.

Usual suspects adorn the chairs around the table; Leela at full attention, Amy filing her nails, Zoidberg trying to sneak into the kitchen, Fry with his still throbbing head laid down on the table, Bender cigar in one hand rubbing Fry's back with the other.

"Get out of 'dere ya lousy crab." Hermes yelled at Zoidberg. He hits at the decapodian doctor with a rolled up newspaper like he was a dog. Zoidberg gives a "Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop" And skuttles away. Leela is the only one who really notices the display, as Amy is now painting her nails, not with pink. Bender could give a shit less, and Fry was still nursing a headache from hell. Then Farnsworth enters, Scruffy behind him, rolling out a giant crate. The Professor sits at his usual seat.

"Good news everyone, since your delivery to 'Planet de Paris' was a rousing success. You'll be making a delivery to Tinkerbell 8." Professor informs them.

"I love Tinkerbell 8. All the shopping malls and nightclubs, it's a rich girls dream." Amy says excitedly.

"Do we have to? Tinkerbell 8 is full of shallow Nordics who feast on other peoples poorness. In which case, Fry and Zoidberg can't go." Leela protested.

"I resent that." Zoidberg whooped again as Hermes was after him again with the newspaper.

"Get away ya smelly crawdad or I'm gonna have Labarbara cook ya up."

"Eh, I've been offering to cook Zoidberg for years and you never let me." Bender intervened.

"Wait, weren't we just discussing the differences in 'Planet de Paris' and 'Tinkerbell 8' yesterday?" Leela asked.

"Wha?..I don't think so. Then again I can't remember who I am, who you are, or why I'm in my pajamas. Ohh well, nighty night." Professor tilted his head back and began to snore.

"Professor!" Leela yelled. Farnsworth snorts out of sleep and sits back up.

"Oh my, yes. You'll be delivering a crate of diamond encrusted dog collars." he continues. Professor pushes a button and the holo projector comes up of the dog collar. This recieves "ohh and ahhs."

"I'll take one of those with a side of chili fries." Bender replies.

"Everyone on that shallow planet owns a miniture something; a chihuhua, a chihoodle, baby monkeys. They need collars for their pets. So Ms. Hilton requested we deliver these collars to be sold at a million dollars each at her store." Professor states. Bender's eyes magnify at the sound of money.

"Now take good care of this delivery for it is well worth over fifty million dollars." Professor continues. Bender's eyes popped out of his head.

"Ohh." Bender whines. He picks his eyes up and puts them back in.

"Professor, seeing how this is such an extravagant load. I don't think Bender should go. If he were to steal just one of those collars it could put the company out of business." Leela contested.

Bender looked at the cyclops defensive like, "Oh, come on. I wasn't gonna steal one of those stupid collars. What kind of robot do you think I am?"

At this time Bender's _'hecho en Mexico'_ door pops off and a small mound of stuff spills out. Some of Amy's jewelry, Leela's purse, the Professor's hearing aid, Zoidberg's stethoscope.

"Aw man, I'm really gonna have to get that fixed." Everyone looked at _"honest"_ Bender and retrieved their respective valuables.

"Bender! These were my favorite pair of these earrings that I have one hundred pairs of." Whined the rich martian.

"I'm sorry guys. I was uh..just holding them...yah thats it...just holding them for you so you didn't loose them." Bender apologizes.

"Nice try." Leela wacks the disingenuous robot with her purse.

"Owww."

"Now, now, we can all deal with Bender's behavior when you return." Professor chims in.

"Ew ew ew, Professor, can I go? I still have some allowances left and I wanna go shopping." Amy begged.

"Can't we just leave her there. I'm sure she'd be much happier." Leela asked.

"You're just jealous 'cause your rock-hard-butt won't fit in to any of the clothes on that planet." Amy contested.

"The key words were; 'rock-hard-butt', not 'boney and flat'." Leela retaliated.

Amy folded her arms and said something in cantonese. Bender ignoring the two girls' high school appropriate behavior, sat a Slurm down in front of Fry, who hadn't uttered more than a couple of very low groans. "Here you go, you need to drink something."

Fry mumbled something incoherent. Zoidberg laid eyes on the drink. Slowly he reach for the tasty can with the tasty drink inside. Fry's arm shot up and grabbed Zoidberg's arm. Fry lifted his head and glared at the doctor. His eyes more blood-shot than yesterday.

"Touch it and you're dead." Fry literally growled.

Everyone looked at Fry like he had a third head or something.

Zoidberg huffed and puts his claws on his hips. "If you ever need someone to put your head on anyone else's body ever again. You know who will do it? Not Dr. Zoidberg, thats who."

Zoidberg wasn't making any sense and he whooped off. But no one paid any mind. They were solely fixed on the steaming red-head. Who grabbed the can and chugged it straight down then crumbled up the can with one hand. Fry got up and walked off toward the ship. Bender looked down at the can, which Fry had crumbled up like paper. He made a sound that sounded like a gulp. To himself pondering, actually along with everyone else, how could Fry of crumbled the can the way he did with such ease. Can's were made of metal these days, well especially Slurm cans. And beer cans from old robots. Bender couldn't, wouldn't, fathom what Fry would do to him if he pissed the delivery boy off.

On the ship, somewhere in space: Leela at the helm, Amy took Fry's seat, Fry was in his cabin napping. Bender stood nailed to the wall and none too happy he was. Bender mumbled a few choise obsenities under his breath.

"Now Bender. We can't have you stealing those collars. But you're a very integral part of the crew. So we had to bring you." Leela looked back at the pissed-offed robot.

"Shut up big boots. We don't weld you to the wall everytime we deliver crates of ugly boots." Leela knew he was just angry, they never deliver crates of ugly boots.

"Don't make me get the magnet." Leela threatened.

Bender mocked her mimicking her voice and what she had said in a distorted manor.

"Amy, I think we could use some inflight music. Don't you agree?" Leela winked at the martian.

"Are you winking or blinking?" Amy looked cnfused at the one-eyed captain.

"Damn you I'm winking." Leela fired back frustrated. And she didn't want to get out the glasses.

"Oh...ohh yah. We could use some tunes." Amy said finally getting it. She got out a small refrigerator magnet from a drawer, that they must keep around for Bender. She walked back to the insolent automaton.

"Hay wait what are you...no not the..uh oh." Bender pleaded from the back of the room.

Leela listened as the magnet made a small clang as Amy stuck it on Bender's head. Immediately Bender began singing, everything from 'Jimmy Crack Corn', 'She'll be comin' round the mountain', to 'Froggy went a courtin', in a astounding medley.

"Okay Amy, I think he's learned his lesson." Leela called back. Amy removed the magnet.

"Keep that thing away from me." Bender panted.

"Well stop being an ass and we will." Leela said.

"Lousy meatbag can bite my..." Bender mumbled.

"What was that?" Amy said coming close with the magnet.

"Uh...how much further to this snob planet?" Bender changed his tune.

"We're almost there. Let me aks you something? Fry's your uh...boyfriend, why is he acting so strange."

"Gluh, he's from the stupid ages, he's always been a little strange." Amy answered for Bender.

"No, its just the way he snapped at Dr. Zoidberg. It wasn't like Fry at all." Leela wondered.

"Ah Leela, Fry's fine. Its just the hangover." Bender assured.

"It's been two days now, it should be over by now." Leela inquired.

"I wouldn't worry about it...Uh could one of you chumpettes get me a beer?"

Amy got a beer out of Bender's chest cabinet, popped the top, and poured it in the robot's mouth. Fry walked in and saw Amy "feeding" Bender. He looked at the intern with cold jealously. This was not seen by the other three.

"Hay thats..." Fry started angry.

"We're here." Leela called back.

"What Fry?" Amy looked at the delivery boy. Fry shook off the notion and returned to normal.

"..a beautiful view." He continued looking out the window at the lights over the darkened city-scape.

"Its night again." Leela whined.

"Guh, its always night here. So people can party twenty-four-seven." Amy informed.

"Oh." Leela replied.

The ship landed on a giant platform lined all in giant diamonds. It appeared to sparkle in the night.

"Oh your God." Bender's eyes magnifyed his view.

"Bender, you're staying in the ship. We'll let you loose when we get back and head home." Leela informed the robot.

Bender rolls his eyes and scoffs, "With Amy that could be for days."

"Thats true. See you soon." Amy helps her wheel the crate off and they bid them fairwell.

"Thats okay. I'll stay here with you. If I touch anything and break it, well be indept. And I can't buy anything. I hear one beer costs two grand here."

"Wow." Bender looks at Fry, and trying to figure out how he can open a business here.

On the planet:

"Come on Leela. After we deliver this, lets go shopping. We can get Nibbler a new cape." Amy says wide-eyed at the rich girl paradise.

"Amy, I can't afford anything on this planet."

They pass a _Starbucks _with a sign that says Large expresso: 1,950.00. Medium: 1,825.00. Small: 149.95.

"Spluh. I'll buy it. You can consider it an early birthday or X-mas present." Amy offers.

"Ohh, thats so sweet."

"I'm sick of seeing him in that cheap, dollar-ninety-nine store, red cape anyway." Leela glared at the shallow martian girl and huffed.

Back at the ship:

"So, Fry? You're looking much better. How are you feeling?" Bender was still bound standing against the wall.

"Much better now. I guess I just needed sleep." Fry replied.

"I told them it was just a hangover."

"Yah, you know me better than anyone." Fry put his hands on the robot's metal body and kissed him.

"You know Fry? We have the ship all to ourselves." Bender coaxed.

"Yah? So?"

"Leela and Amy will be gone for awhile." Bender continued.

"Uh-huh?"

"If you let me down...uh maybe we could go back to the cabin and fool around." Bender persisted.

"Oh no. If I let you loose, you're liable to leave the ship and go stealing. I can't break Leela's trust." Fry folded his arms.

Bender scoffed, "Who cares about 'ol' one-eyes' trust? I'm the one who loves you." Bender's voice goes to a begging sweet tone, "Now please, let me down." He looks at Fry with that faux innocence that Fry usually falls for.

"Sorry Bender," Fry's eyes narrow and his look is way too sinister, "but I like you better this way."

Fry's eyes scan over the automaton while he removes his clothes.

"Uh..Fry..uh mommy."

Some fancy nightclub, oh yah:_ Club Paris' Head_

"Well we're here." Leela announced as they came to the front of the line.

"Sorry no admittance for freaks." A Neptunian bouncer stopped them. He was very muscular, and had a Mr.T's head, style mohawk, only blue.

"Hay, I wouldn't call anybody a freak if I were you." Leela eyed the four-armed alien.

Amy a bit nervously put her hand over Leela's mouth, "Ha Ha, we're from 'Planet Express Delivery company'. We have a package for Ms. Hilton's head."

Leela's eye stares at the martian, but she figures its best to just shut up, for now. The bouncer motions for someone. And a green alien creature; dressed in an expensive suit, with his jet black hair slicked back into a ponytail, talking on a cellphone, waring dark sunglasses came over.

"You tell Ashton Kutcher's head if he wants an 800th season of _Punk'd, _he'll have to do the _Sureal Life _1,000 year reunion special. No deals." The alien motioned for them to follow him.

Back at the ship:

Fry sat in the captain's chair turned away from Bender, in his underware, smoking one of Bender's cigars, looking as happy as can be. He smiled rather evily through puffs.

"Welp, that was fun. Now can you let me down?" Pleaded the robot.

"No Bender."

"Please, my arms are hurting." Bender continues.

"No Bender." Fry takes along puff.

"I'll steal you something nice." Bender negociated.

"Okay." Fry's suaveness quickly fades.

_Club Paris' Head_: Finally the three arrive at a V.I.P area.

"Ms. Hilton, your dog collars have arrived." The slick alien announced.

"Dog collars, oh my God." The head of the heiress jumped inside of her pink jar. The name 'Paris Hilton' spelled out in diamonds on the name plate. Tinkerbell's head sat beside it barking. Nicky Hilton's head was across the room, stoned, and making out with some alien dude through her jar.

"Ms. Hilton, here your collars. If you will just sign here..." Leela was interrupted.

"Wait a minute, oh my God. You have to like totally see my new sex tape, for sure. Its with Tommy Lee's penis." Paris' head had a hint of either drunk, if that was possible, or ignorance in her voice.

"Uh..don't you mean head?" Amy pointed out.

"Thats like totally what I said, his head, cock, whatever." Paris' head slurred.

"Tommy Lee's penis was preserved seperate from his head. They thought it needed a jar of its own." Leela whispered to Amy.

"Gluck, now I get that joke."

"His head directs porn now. And his penis stars in porn now." The slick alien put in.

"No thank you Ms. Hilton, we'd like to be going." Leela tries to hand her the clipboard.

Paris' head giggles insanely, "No way, shut up, you guys should like totally stay. We just looove your taste."

"Really we need to get back." Leela backed up.

Fry and Bender, somewhere in the city:

"Wow, this is the most shallow place I've ever seen." Fry said looking around.

"Yah, look at these people eyeing you like your a piece of meat. Hay, he's my meatbag, back off." Bender threatened.

Someone came up and sniffed Fry. "Yum, poor delivery boy. Get's by on below minimum wage." A group of about twenty started sniffing Fry.

Fry flinched and backed away from the blue-eyed, blond-haired weirldos

"Bender, I could use some help." Fry whimpered.

"Just a second." Bender began stuffing his cabinet full of some loot. No one notices as their drooling over Fry. All wide-eyed with their tongues hanging out.

_Club Paris' head:_ The Nordics and the other aliens who choose to live this culture, have Leela and Amy against the wall giving them the same treatment. Picture a zombie movie with slowly animated corpses hungry for brains.

"Minimum wage, Minimum wage." is heard pyschotically moaned amoung the drooling Nordics.

"Oh no, the legends are true. We'll have to fight our way outta this one." Leela stands ready to fight.

"What do you mean we? I'm rich." Said the snobby-toned Amy.

"We love martians too." some Nordic moaned.

"Oh crap." sighed the martian with her head hung down.

Back at Fry and Bender:

"They look like haven't eaten in days." Fry observed as they swarmed Fry. They had him against the wall of a building.

"Duh, according to legend they don't eat food. They feast on poor people." Bender yelled at Fry, "Sort of like a robot." Bender said that last sentence to himself. Bender was blocked away from Fry by starving Nordics.

"Minimum wage, delivery boy." the Nordics moaned.

"Ahhhh Bender! Help me!" Fry screamed.

"Fry, I want you to know that even though I love you. After you're dead, I'm pawning all your stuff." Bender informed.

"Bender!?" Fry yelled irritated at Bender.

"What? I'm only doing it out of love." Contested the disingenuous robot.

_Club Paris'head: _ Leela roundhouse kicked the jar with Paris' head in it with a,

"H'yah!" The glass shattered and water spilled on the ground. The head jumped up and lunged for the cyclops, but earned another "H'yah!" and a kick.

Amy had found a weapon and was beating off Nordics as they tried to rush her. "Da si ni, take that!"

Luckily for the two of them, since Nordics don't eat food they are very weak. Plus poor people that they do eat, can't afford to shop or visit the planet, so they don't eat often. That my fiends is why Paris is so skinny. Further more...

Leela clears her throat to get writer's attention. "Do you think we could continue?"

Oh sorry, sure thing.

Leela's roundhouse kicks, famous "H'yah",s and amazing Arcturan Kung-Fu, was working wonders. The two made it to the door and high-tailed it through the streets.

Back at Bender and Fry:

"Fry? When you're dead, you don't mind if I see other people, do you?"

"What!? Ofcourse I mind." Fry screamed.

"Oh, just checking, 'cause..uh..I don't wanna go through life lonely, you know."

Fry growled in frustration and picked up one the Nordics like it was a rag doll and tossed it in to a pile of zombie like whatever the hell these people are. With force he parted the sea, well it was more of a pond, of Nordics. Pushing the weak and malnourished freaks out of his way. He even stepped over some of them like they were steps, making his way to the cowardly robot. Bender couldn't help Fry for being in such 'aw' of this amazing feat. Finally Fry was back to Bender.

"No you can't date other people..err robots...err..whatever, 'cause I'm just fine." Fry glared at the automaton.

"Oh Fry. I would never want anything to happen to you." The two hugged.

"Well why in robot hell weren't you helping me?" Fry asked.

"Well...I..its not because I don't care. I just..." The stammering robot looked over at the group of Nordics slowly making their way to them.

"Minimum wage."

"Look I know we probably have another two hours before they reach us, but I think we had better..."

"Cheese it!!" Bender finished the sentence. The two ran for the ship.

Leela and Amy are running down the streets. They stop when they realize no one is behind them.

"Where...where did they go?" Amy says panting, bent over with her hands on her knees.

"I don't know..." Leela pants, "lets see."

Leela picks up a pair of binoculars on a street vendor. Man those things are always around for my convenience aren't they? The binoculars are priced 59,999.99, Leela looks through one of the lenses. The Nordics and greasy aliens are two miles back. Well, except for the Neptunian bouncer, he just works there, his shift ended and he went home.

"I think we're good." Leela says looking at Amy.

"Okay, you wanna go in some shops?"

Leela shrugs, "Sure why not?"

Bender trips over a starving Nordic, who passed out on the ground, the Nordic looks up at Fry hopeful for a meal.

"Minim (cough) um (cough) wage."

Fry kicks the Nordic who lets out a grunt, then picks Bender up in his arms, much to the robots astonishment. He carries the heavy Bender on to the ship. They board.

"Oh where is Amy and Leela?" Fry says frustrated. Bender still can't get over Fry's unexplained strength.

Amy and Leela walk out of a store. Leela's arms are full of Amy's bags. The spoiled martian carries nothing. A very weak Nordic is literally crawling out the door after them. He collaspses on the ground. "Minimum wage."

Fry uses Bender's eyes to look around outside. "Where are they?"

"You don't think they got eaten do you?" Bender asks.

Fry looks back at the robot, thinking about the pathetic Nordics. They have fought aliens, cannibals, mutants, and the Omicronians more times then he can count? To think Leela would be defeated by Nordics. The Two had the same thought and shared a hysterical laugh.

"Oh boy, thats good Bender. And Zoidberg thinks he's the comedian."

"Do you have this in pink?" Amy asks holding up a purple dress.

"Minimum wage." moans the Nordic crawling toward them. The martian shrugs and picks up a blue dress.

"Ohh, this will match my Kiffy-poo."

Leela stands next to her holding a ton of dresses, "Can we just go?"

"Just a sec." Amy takes off to the dressing room.

Frys pacing in the ship. "I wish they'd come on already. I wanna go."

"Cheer up, here have a beer." Bender hands Fry a beer and also gets one out for himself. Fry takes it and chugs it down immediately.

"There's no food in this place. I'm starving."

"We have some meat in the kitchen." Bender replies. Fry literally shakes the robot.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Fry seems desperate for food.

"We can't cook it." Bender replied.

"But you're an oven!" Fry contested.

"Yah, but the last time I cooked hamburgers, I bout like to never got the smell out and people kept thinking I was a fast food restaurant. And I was happy to take their money, but they weren't as happy when they got no food." Bender took a long drink.

"Can't I cook it in the ship?"

"Nope, I broke that stove fixing meatloaf and...Fry?" Bender looked around.

Fry was gone. Hungerly he went through the fridge. He had never felt hunger like this before in his life. He found a packet of meat, kind of bloody and raw. He tore it open, he thought about the microwave, but the last time he had used it he bacame his own grandfather. The smell of the blood and raw meat reach his nose. It smelled sooo goood. His mouth began to water. 'So hungry, so very hungry.' he thought. Then like an animal he dug into the meat, devouring what ever it had been before its slaughter, blood, guts and all.

"Wow, you weren't kidding about being hungry." Bender said as he walked in.

Fry looked up from his feast and glared at the robot. Blood dripped down the human's chin, tiny pieces of meat clung to his lips. Fry licked his finger's clean, then licked the sterophone plate the meat had been on.

"Fry, you okay? You seem a bit pyscho." Bender put his hand on Fry's shoulder. Fry literally snapped at him.

"Uh..okay...uh if you ever develop a taste for human flesh like those crazy Nordics...uh..remember I'm a robot okay."

Bender then backed away from Fry, whose eyes seemed to turn a blood-shot color red. Slowly Bender exited the room. Fry kept his eyes on him with the most evil look, he had ever given anyone, still etched on his face and forever in Bender's memory. Then as soon as Bender was out, Fry dove back in the fridge for more.

Finally Amy and Leela got back to the ship.

"Leela somethings wrong with Fry, he's acting nuts." Bender greeted.

"Bender, how'd you get loose?" Amy asked.

"I don't rightfully care if Bender stole anything. Those crazy ass Nordics deserve it. We're out of here." Leela said. She started the ship. The zombie/Nordic mob finally reach the ship and began slowly and weakly beating on it.

"Oh no Nordics!" Amy cried out.

"Eh, I think we'll make it." Bender popped another beer.

The ship took off. Nordics went everywhere.

"Did you hear me about Fry?" he asked.

"What about Fry?" Leela replied.

"Yah, what about me." Fry entered. The delivery boy is cleaned up and looking perfectly normal, well as normal as Fry gets.

"He looks okay to me." Leela looked back.

"Sorry I snapped at you back there. You scared me and coming off the whole Nordic "attack"," makes quotations on the word 'attack', "I was still in survival mode." Fry apologized.

"Sure thats fine Fry." Bender replied kind of nervous.

"So, did you steal me anything nice?" Fry asked sweetly.

"Why yes I did. In fact ol' Bender got you all presents." Bender's tone back to normal. He opened his chest. "For Leela, that fashionable tank top you can't afford cause you have to feed Nibbler." He hands the top to Leela.

"Wow Bender. This didn't cost you twenty thousand dollars." She smiles looking at the tag.

"You know it. And Amy, a sex tape featuring Paris Hilton's head and Tommy Lee's penis, directed by Tommy Lee's head." he handed her the tape. '_One_ _night in Paris' head.'_

"Spluck, Bender!"

"You're welcome." Bender reach back inside his cabinet. The insulted martian spoke some choise Cantonese words.

"And Fry." he got out a diamond encrusted holophoner. The humans eyes lit up.

"Aww, thanks Bender." Fry took the expensive gift that Bender had not bought him.

"Cause I love to hear you play." Bender did not add 'no matter how bad you suck at it.'

"Thats so touching and disgusting. Not to mention against the law." She pertained to the cool crime of robbery.

"Poor people, thought you could like escape and stuff from me, did you?" Paris' head popped out from one of Amy's bag. No one knew how the hell the head was surviving or really cared. The head lunged at Leela who gasped and jumped back. Amy made a swipe at the head, who turned after the rich martian, it bit her on her sweatsuit.

"Help me get it off me." Amy cried.

Leela grabbed the head and threw it into the airlock and hit a button ejecting it in to space.

"My daddy's head won't be happy about this. You'll be sooo sorry." The head screamed as it exploded under the pressure of space. Blood went everywhere, it was green blood, but it was still blood.

"Thank God thats over with." Leela wiped her brow.

"Yah the world is finally free of Paris Hilton." Fry stated.

"I'll drink to that." Bender made a toast.

"Me too." Fry cut in.

"Here, here." Amy did as well.

"What the hell." Leela sighed.

The alcohol-fueled robot handed out beers as the other crew members gather around for a toast.

**And with that I end the second chapter, I am hard at work on the third.**

**Oh and let me explain my Nordic/zombies. Nordics are a bread of aliens who are very similiar to humans, but taller and heavier. They are very muscular and in physical shape. They resemble scandonavians and are known as; blonds, swedes, Nordics, wingmaker's, blue-eyed, Aryans, venusians. They are said to be here to observe our culture and not to interfere with our evolution. They have blond hair, fair skin, no sweat glands, and heads bigger than humans. Yes I got that from a alien site. My Nordics are a rebel alliance of Nordics and various other races of humans and aliens who were swayed by the ultimate rebel Nordic Paris Hilton. Hilton was sent to earth as an observer many years ago by the Nordic people. But she got wrapped up in the hollywood rich lifestyle, thanks to the rich people she was sent to live with. She became more humaniod and over the milleninia devised a plan for ruling her own planet. Since 'Planet de Paris' was already taken, she named it after her beloved dog Tinkerbell. But she got carried away with power and deemed that no one could eat real food that they must be super skinny. But the demand was too high and people began to starve and rebel. So new law stated that the rich snobbish Nordics of Tinkerbell 8, could only eat Paris' head's worst enemy. No not on again, off again friend Nicole Richie, they ate her in 2998. Instead they were allowed to eat only poor people. But since poor people rarely visit the planet, its various lifeforms became so malnourished that they can't attack any poor people who do. I give them another week to live.**


	3. Bad Fry Rising pt1

**Sorry about the two reviews that are now gone. I changed the story a bit. Not much, but I hated that movie script way I was typing. Once more it has nothing to do with the review I got, even though the whole concept of getting deleted did annoy me. Oh well, its fixed. Also It will seem I have strayed off the werewolf course at times, but I know where I'm going with this one. Also after watching 'An American werewolf in Paris' I realized my story wasn't that much like it, even though it, with alot of other werewolf movies (and a few bad halloween-styled cliches), was the inspiration for it. Halloween is not too far mind you. I hope to be finished in time for my favorite holiday. **

**Also, I know some people perfer that watching Fry and Bender's relationship grow is more fun. I agree. But I was desperately attempting to write something different. Maybe to show how it would be if they were together. Plus I'm already working on one were their relationship grows. Enough of this, Welcome to chapter three.**

**Don't Fry Wolf!**

_By: TerrahFry._

_Chapter Three:_

_Bad Fry Rising pt. 1_

Opening sequence: 'Based on a fake movie, based on a true story.'

Planet Express building: Fry and Bender sat snuggled up on the couch the television capturing their interest, Amy read a magazine at the table, Leela played Tetris on her wrist comm.

"Species everywhere are mourning the lose of Paris Hilton's head." Morbo said on the t.v. siting behind the ancor desk as usual. "But Morbo is mourning the death of the billion dollar heiress most of all."

"Ha ha ha ha, wait you are?" Linda eyes the ancor monster, caught by surprise.

"Morbo wanted to destroy her." Morbo starts to sob. Bender flips it to Elzar.

"Now in honor of the death of Ms. Hilton's head. Today I'm gonna teach the Nordic people of Tinkerbell 8 how to make soylent dishes from _'People on a Budget'." _Elzar holds up his latest cookbook which shows Elzar cooking some homeless bum in a large pot. Bender actually turns it.

"Nordics everywhere are starving. Help keep these poor Nordics alive by sending just eighty-six cents a day." A woman said while images of skinny hungry Nordics go by like a 'feed the kids' charity program. "With your sponsorship you will pay to send 'Budget de Soylent' to feed starving Nordics aliens. If you give to just one insane cause this year, please let it be this one."

Bender turned it to 'All my Cicuits.'

"Calculon, your good friend Paris Hilton's head has passed on to that big head jar in the sky." Monique broke the tragic news. Calculon fell to his knees.

"Noooooooooo!" he screamed.

"Shesh, you think people would be praising us for getting rid of her." Fry said in contrast.

"Eh, she just made people believe she was a diety." Bender took a drink of beer.

"Just like Angelina Jolie's head?" Fry asked, more of a statement.

"Right, but Angelina Jolie's head started dating Guy Ritchie's head and Madonna's head started dating Brad Pitt's head. And this caused the war of 2970. Half of California was destroyed amoung a thousand cute orphan children they had adopted." Leela recalled her history.

"They had names for them. It was..lemme think..Guygelina v.s. Bradonna." Bender chimmed in.

"I thought it was Mapitt." Leela stated.

"Nope Bradonna." Amy corrected.

"Whatever." Leela sighed.

Fry scratches his head. "Well at least nobody got hurt." he said taking a drink of slurm.

"Good news everyone!" Professor's voice boomed over the loud speaker, "Report to the Conference Room at once." Everyone groaned in complaint and got up.

Conference Room.

"Good news everyone." Professor walked in.

"You already said that." Leela pointed out.

"Well, I just really like saying it." Professor stated.

"So, whats the good news wrinkle butt?" Bender asked.

"Is food?" Zoidberg said hopefully, hungerly.

"Quiet you. Today you were supposed to make a delivery of headache medicine to Migrane 9, but that planet was blew up by their arch nemisis, Tylenol 5." Professor proudly explained.

"Hows this good news, did they pay in advance?" Leela asked.

"Oh my no. They paid in advance." Professor's senileness was over looked.

"But how is it good news for us though." Leela asked.

"Yah, Professor with all your precious knowledge. What do we get outta the deal?" Bender asked holding a cigar.

"Well, I've decided to take you all out for dinner to celebrate." Professor smiled.

"Horray! Zoidberg will eat." The lobster said excitedly.

"Whoo hoo! Fry will eat." Fry said just as excited, the two high fived, or in Zoidy's case clawed.

That night at Elzar's: Everyone sat around a large table. Professor, Cubert, Fry, Bender, Leela, Amy, Hermes, Labarbara, Dwight, and Zoidberg. The Neptunian chef Elzar walked up.

"How you folks doing tonight?" He asked.

"Ohh, Elzar it's a lovely evening." Bender said in his 'kiss Elzar's ass' voice. Fry gave Bender a dirty look.

"Good, good, tell the waiter when you're ready to order and I'll be glad to whip you up an obscenely expensive meal." He left with a "BAM!"

"Bless you sir." Bender called. Fry nudged the robot.

"Oww, what?" Bender directed his attention to Fry.

"The way you worship him is creepy." Fry said eyes narrowed.

"Someone sounds jealous." Bender replied.

"Am not." Fry growled.

Finally they ordered. The Professor a bowl of mild farina. Leela a chicken salad. Bender chicken, though we haven't a clue why. Fry ordered a steak rare. Very very rare. "Make it as raw as possible." were his exact words. Everyone stared at him a bit concerned.

"Fry, it isn't healthy to eat that rare of a steak." Leela said to the delivery boy.

"Did I tell you what to get?" Fry snapped.

"Now, now calm down. Fry can get what ever he wants Leela." Professor intervened.

When the food was sat down usually Zoidberg grosses everyone out. But this time, even the lobster was disgusted by Fry's table manners. Th red-head didn't wait for the plate to fully hit the table before he picked the dripping steak up with both hands and tore into it ripping a chunk off and chewing it up. Some hanging out of his mouth. Everyone kind of looked at him stunned. Okay, Fry was a messy eater. Sure, everyone knew this, but this was out in public, in a fancy restaurant, and was described by some on looker as "Barbaric." Fry finished the meat off in three bites his fingers covered with food. Fry tilted his head back and sniffed the air. So many wonderful smells, he took them in for awhile.

"Fry, mon are you okay." Hermes asked. Fry paid no mind, he was lost in his own world.

"I told you he was acting a little nuts." Bender threw the chicken in his mouth, then got out a plate with the food on it.

A waiter was serving some meat nearby to that blond gay guy that always shows up, just in time to be insulted. Fry caught a wiff of whatever animal it was. He rose out of his seat and hunched down nearing all fours and stalked the meat. The guy looked down at him.

"Excuse me, but what do you think you're doing?" He asked, yep insulted. Fry growled and grabbed the steak and tore into it with his teeth. The man was horrified and got up and stalked off. Leela grabbed Fry by his jacket collar and lead him back to his seat. He sat down in the chair and continued devouring the meat.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She felt she had asked this question everyday since he was unfrozen.

Fry ignored her and continued to eat. Oblivious to notice everyone's discomfort or embarrassment. Or the people starring.

Planet Express building, Professor's upstairs laboratory:

"We've done every painful, humiliating test we can think of; blood tests, rectal exams, full body scans. Fry is perfectly normal." Professor informed the doubtful cyclops.

"But Professor his strange behavior. At Elzar's, when he snapped at Dr. Zoidberg, and today he chased a cat that was in the alley." Leela contested.

"Sorry Leela. We can't find anything abnormal. Infact, Fry is as healthy as he's ever been. I've noticed an increase in his energy, his strength, his vision, and his ability to smell. Why yes, an increase in overall health." Professor explained.

"Well put him on the probulator again. I think he took a dump in my shoe." Leela stated pertaining to one of her high-heels she wore to dinner last night.

Professor had Fry running in the giant hampster-like wheel. His speed increasing rapidly. Zoidberg monitoring it.

"He's already topped your old record he has." The doctor noted to Leela.

"This doesn't seem logical. Does he have worms again?" Leela asked.

"There is nothing wrong with him woman can't you hear?" Professor said harshly.

"Sorry Professor." Leela sighed.

"What!" Professor yelled with a hand cupped to his ear.

Robot Arms Apartments:

"Man, Professor and Zoidberg really put me through it today." Fry proclaimed.

"Well, its nice to know you're healthy, I guess. So what do you want for dinner?" Bender asks walking to the kicthen.

"Oh, don't bother, Bender. I'll just have some meat, raw." Fry said walking past Bender who had stopped as soon as he started talking to him.

"Okey dokey." Bender sat down on the couch and flipped on the television.

Leela lay sleeping in her bed, Nibbler curled up beside her, waring his new red silk cape. It looked just like the old one, but this one cost alot more. The tenant of apartment '1i', was having a horrible time sleeping.

She found herself in the woods. It was a chilly autumn evening. There was a thick fog that hugged close to the barren trees, covering them like a damp blanket. She directed her eye down and saw the leaves on the ground; red, orange, yellow and purple. They made no crunching sound under her feet. They were damp with dew and perhaps rain. She stopped on the path on which she had been traveling, though she had no clue as to why. She could smell the fall in the air. Then her gaze turned to herself and it was then she realized she had been waring a cheesy 'little red riding hood' costumn. And a rather sexy one at that. It had a short red skirt, with a low cut beige top, adorned with a thick black belt around the waist. Fishnet tights and her regular boots made up the bottom. And to complete this look the typical red cape, tied loosely around her shoulder's. She found herself carrying a standered old fashioned picnic basket. Almost like the one she was found in at the orphanarium. A red cloth concealed its contents. Leela sniffed the air again, thinking that the fall air, mixed with the scent of pine and ceder smelled so good. Then another scent invaded her nose it was metallic like. But not like a robot, she knew this stench. The odor grew louder and was nauseating. She began to shiver, so she snuggled herself up in the cape. She continued to walk with no idea of where she was going.

Suddenly she found herself belly down on the cold ground, with no recollection of how she had gotten there. She felt something warm and wet underneath her. She lifted her hand to her face to see that it was red with blood.

Leela woke up immediately and sat straight up in her bed. Her eye scanned the room. She had this feeling something wasn't right. It was an all too familiar feeling, but this was a wee bit more sinister. She peered down at the undisturbed Nibbler. She petted him gently, it calmed her down some at least. She forced herself to shake off all lingering notions and go back into slumber.

This time she was naked in a gym.

"Does this ever happen to you? Well you need the _'Black Bar Generator', _yes folks the _'Black Bar Generator..." _an announcer guy hounded. Leela now found herself with those black censor bars over her ass, tits and other areas.

"..its the system that allows you to be naked in locker rooms or shower rooms without the threat or embarrassment of someone seeing you naked, taking out a video recorder, and posting it on the internet."

In the before: Leela finds herself now showering naked, and sees Bender, with camera one, filming it. Then in the after: Leela is covered up with the black boxes, Bender is slightly irritated, but still filming.

"Yes the _'Black Bar Generator' _system makes..." he didn't get to finish as Leela kicks him. Theres a "h'yah" followed by a "Oof, ow."

One week to the Earth full moon.

Fry and Bender walked to work. Nothing really unusual, except some stray cats hissing at fry. And this one dog stopped dead in it's tracks and wet itself as it whimpered. Then it ran with it's tail between its legs.

"Seymour wouldn't of threated me like all these other dogs." Fry huffed.

"Would you puhlease forget about that dog. Professor was gonna clone it. You're the one who broke his machine. And he's stll taking it out of your paycheck." Bender pointed out.

"Think I'll ever be done paying for it?" Fry wondered.

"Nope. Not in this lifetime." Bender replied as they approached Planet Express.

Employee Lounge: Leela is sitting on the couch looking drowsy. The television is turned off. Fry and Bender entered the room.

"Whoa Leela," Fry stated noticing her blood-shot eye, "you look like you haven't slept in days. What up?"

"Oh nothing, I just had nightmares about picnic baskets and little black boxes." Leela replied not really looking up.

"Ewww, I hate those little black box dreams. They're so embarrassing, and Benders always there filming me shower." Fry sits down on the arm of the couch.

"Hehehe yah, I was sorta a spokesbot for those subliminals. Sorry, it paid good." Bender said thinking of fond memories.

The day was without deliveries and was pretty much, real boring. Move some boxes here, then move them back to where they originally were. Watch the Professor's latest invention break in to about thirty some pieces, then watch Zoidberg pick them up. The day ended pretty quick and without one outburst from Fry, well except for one of his usual stupid remarks. Soon everyone said their good-byes and headed for home.

Except Fry and Bender, who headed for _'O'Zorgnax's pub'._

"Hay iZac. What are you doing working here?" Bender asked the familiar bartender robot.

"Lets just say, I go where ever a writer needs to pen a happening bar scene." iZac said wiping out a glass.

"Well, why weren't you at le Lope Gaow?"Fry asked, pronouncing _'Le Loup Garou'_ wrong. He and Bender sat down at the bar.

"Let's face it bro, that place just aint cool. Plus all those french weirldos be cramping my style." iZac put down the glass.

"I feel you." Fry replied followed by a belch.

Two robots sat in a booth overseeing the human and the robot as they drank and talked. Ones head was built square, he had square eyes and a triangular nose. A antenna come out from each side of his head, sorta like how Calculon's do. Another antenna was on the top of his head, like Bender's but shaped differently. His mouth was a rectangle shape and his mouth lines (like Bender's) were formed to look jagged, like jack o' lantern styled teeth. He had metal rings on his side antennas and in his nose to look like piercings. His body was rotund and square with a square chest cabinet door. But he had a bottom half that rounded out. His legs look like rollers with wheels. Sorta 'classic' robot looking, think johnny 5 from 'Short Cicuit' but for the wheels only. He wore a leather biker vest with fringes and black fingerless leather gloves on his hands. His arms and hands were like Bender's or the Robot Devil. The robot was silver in some places, like his top half, arms and head. But his bottom half was black, so were his wheels, flames were painted on these areas. His companion had a much smaller frame, square like head and round eyes, he appeared to not have an antenna that was at least visible. He wore a bandana, only God knows how the damn thing was tied on his square head. his mouth was similiar to his buddies, his nose looked like a humans or the Robot Devil's only smaller and less protruding. His arms were the same as Bender's. His legs the same except his footcups looked like boots. They were brown and his legs up to his torso were black. I guess to look like painted on leather pants. The rest of him was red and he too wore a biker vest and gloves.

The bikerbots continue to look on. They watched as Fry laughed at one of Bender's jokes. The big one, WheelE nodded at the red one, R.H. They got up and made their way over to Fry and Bender.

"Did they ever find the body?" Fry asked intrigued.

"No, see thats the thing..." Bender stopped when he noticed the two bikerbots standing way too close.

"We don't like you type round here."R.H. said.

"Hay, jerkwad, We always come here." Bender took a drink.

"We know. And we also know you two be them there robo-sexuals." WheelE stated.

"So are you robophobic?" Fry asked confused.

"Look pal, homophobia was banned in 3003. Now do you mind?" Bender huffs, always some crazy ass jerk messing with him in a bar.

"Ohh no, we aint no homophobics." R.H. stated.

"You're not? You sure sound that way." Fry eyed the bikerbot like he was an improgrammed nut.

"We're not gay for your information. We just are together." Bender informed taking another swig of beer.

"That be our problem. We don't mind homosexuals, infact WheelE there is a romosexual." R.H. points to his buddy. WheelE waves and bats his square eyes.

"Then whats your problem chump." Bender syas irritated.

"We don't like when a human dates a robot. No matter what gender they are."

"Thats stupid." Fry responded.

"To you'ns maybe, but we just weren't programmed that way." WheelE says.

"You weren't programmed to go through the robot wash either, I see." Bender insults.

"Yer gon' pay fer that." R.H picks up a chair and hits Bender who emits a yelp. Fry looks up at WheelE as he pulls out a metal pipe. He bashed Fry over the head, Fry stummbled back, now getting angry. WheelE shocked that the blow didn't render Fry unconscious readies for another. Fry grabs his arm and twists it until he drops the pipe. WheelE howls in pain as he rubs his arm. R.H locks his eyes on the human.

"Okay red, lets dance." He charges at Fry who grabs him and introduces him to the bathroom door frame. Then Fry hoists the robot up and tosses him behind the bar.

"Hay, watch out now." iZac warns.

WheelE spins fry around starring in to blood-red eyes, the bikerbot stops when he hears Fry growling at him demonically. Fry picks the obviously very heavy robot up by his throat and allows him to hang in the air. Bender looks on still trying with all hell to figure out what he's seeing. Fry tosses the bikerbot into some chairs. R.H has gotten out from behind the bar. He helps WheelE up.

"Come on we're out of here." The two hastefully leave the bar. WheelE transforms into a robot looking motorcycle and R.H gets on and they speed off.

Fry shakes off everything that just happened and helps the dazed, Bender off of the floor.

"Come on, Bender lets go home." Fry grabs the robots head and presses his lips to his mouth. He stays like that for a while, until he hears iZac explode about the way Malfunctioning Eddie would.

**I'll give fair warning, I have a long way to go. This chapter is only the first part to **_**'Bad Fry Rising', **_**When I was writing it originally, I got carried away with some scenes in the next chapter, so I split them up.**

**Okay, some shit may have been spelled wrong, I'm not perfect I apologize for that. And don't go by the character's dialoge like my bikerbots talk like red necks so I wrote how they would have said it. **

**As for Bender's "eating" habits, Some episodes we actually see Bender and other robots eat food and claim that something tastes good or bad. But in **_**'30 Iron Chef', **_**they say Bender can't taste, so I go with that. He can smell, feel etc. But in **_**'A clone of my own'**_** we see Bender with a plate of chicken and Elzar tells him he forgot to cook it. I thought it was funny that a robot who didn't need to eat human food, would have a plate of chicken.**

_**'Black Bar Generator'**_** was seen in **_**'A Leela of her own.'**_

**I tried to be more descriptive with this chapter, with Leela's dream. I usually don't go into much detail, but the concept I had for those bikerbots seemed cool as hell. This chapter was wrote when my brain was on pause though and I'm not as proud of it. My brain re-booted and I've actually got as far as chapter six, so far, they're just not typed out. Okay, I know, I know I'm very informative, I'll shut up.**


	4. Bad Fry Rising pt2

**Okay, like I said the last one was wrote on a serious writer's block. Then I watched 'Big Bad Wolf'. I thought the movie was briliant because he could talk when in wolf form, and the werewolf could have sex in wolf form. And it was freaky and no I'm not into beastiality no matter my werewolf obsession. However the movie did unblock me so I could write more, thanks ass-holes. Welcome to part 2 to 'Bad Fry Rising'.**

**Don't Fry Wolf!**

_By: TerrahFry._

_Chapter Four:_

_'Bad Fry Rising pt. 2'._

Opening Sequence: 'From the other Galaxy of Terrah!'

Planet Express Ship: Six days until the Earth full moon. Leela at the helm as usual, Fry in his cabin sleeping again.

"I..I don't get it Leela." Bender Stated to the focused captain, "Fry's changed. That robot had to weigh a thousand pounds, yet Fry lifted him up like he was a human child."

"I'll admit, Fry does seem...different." Leela agreed, though she had suspected something was wrong the night at Elzar's, her logic just won't let her be irrational.

"Fry is different! I've lived with that meatbag for years, I know him like I know my own programming. That man in there.." Bender pauses to point back to their cabin, "Thats not Fry."

"Well, he thinks he's turning into a werewolf. Maybe he has it in his mind that he has lycanthropy." Leela suggested.

"What the hell is that?" Bender asked.

"It's a disease of the mind, where people think that they are werewolves. They crave raw meat, have violent outbusts, and even appear to have an increase in their senses and strength." Leela explained.

"How do you know all this big-boots?" Bender lit a cigar.

"I've been doing some research on the internet." Leela took a sip of coffee, still keeping her attention on her piloting.

"You don't think he's really turning into a werewolf do you? I mean I turned into a werecar before." Bender stated the 'anythings possible' bullshit.

"What? No thats stupid. People with lycanthropy only believe their werewolves, that doesn't mean they are." Leela replied.

"Yah, but I turned into a werecar." Bender persisted.

"Yes, but robots can do things that humans simply can't" Leela replied.

"We are pretty damn amazing." Bender seemed vain.

"There is absolutely no way for a human to turn into a wolf. But if Fry thinks he is one, theres no telling how far he could take it." Leela continued her statement. She put the auto-pliot on and got up. "Now, it takes about a day in total to get there, I'm gonna go lay down for awile. I haven't been sleeping. Maybe you should shut down for awhile."

"Ohh! why?" Bender whined.

"Because I don't trust you to be alone in the ship." Leela put her hands on her hips.

"Come on, when have I ever deceived you?" At this point Bender's door pops off and Leela's purse falls out.

"Ohh stupid lousy door." Bender looks down. Leela picks up her purse.

"I rest my case." Leela says, she turned and walked back to her cabin.

Bender picks his door up and puts it back on, all the while mumbling, "Lousyrottennogoodone-eyed..." Bender folds his arms, his eye-plate closed and the mumbling ceased.

Leela finds herself back in the forest, back in that outfit. Its dark this time, a harvest moon shines bright in the sky. She keeps walking, anxiously turning her head from side to side making sure she is alone. But she doesn't feel alone. Something's watching her, she can feel it. She stops and looks down at the basket, the bottom of it dripping. The substance is dark and is now soaking the bottom of the basket. That metallic smell is back. Her heart nearly stops when she realizes its blood. Slowly she lifts up the red cloth, peeking inside the basket. She pulls off the cloth and screams as she drops the basket on the ground.

Leela wakes up and sits erect. Her heart is racing. The dream fresh in her head, but she can't remember what was in that damn basket.

"Leela!" someone pounds on her door, "Leela!" it's Fry's voice.

"Y..yah." She replied trying to find her voice.

"We are approaching the planet." he informs from the other side of the door.

"Okay, Fry, be right there." Leela's voice returning to normal.

Leela collected herself and returned to her post. The rest of the crew is awake and fully alert.

"So, d'you sleep good big-boots?" Bender asks feet propped back up.

"Uh sleep..yah." Leela replies still a little drowsy.

"Thats good." Bender doesn't notice the dirty look being gave to him by the unmentioned red-head.

Fry huffs, "You asked her how she slept, but not me?"

"Oh, uh I'm sorry Fry, how'd you sleep?" Bender asked. Fry noticed that Bender was becoming more distant and nervous around him.

"Just fine thanks, but no thanks to those damn little black bar dreams," Fry smiled "ofcourse, Leela was in this dream." for a second his voice almost sounded suave.

"Oh, she was, was she." Bender seemed insulted.

"Yah," Fry looked at the automaton a dumb look now on his face, "she kicked that announcer guy's ass for me." Fry blinked, any hint of suave gone.

"Oh." Bender felt awkward now.

"I love that part." Leela grinned, thinking of her love of violence.

"Me too!" Fry smiled, thinking of his love to see violence.

Since that was such a long ass trip to that planet, we're down to five days until the Earth full moon. The ship landed with the usual sound it makes and in the usual manor.

"Okay, I've checked everything out, there are no cannibals on this planet..." Leela is interrupted when Fry raised his hand and opened his mouth to say something.

"No zombies, no werewolves, it's perfectly safe." She continued looking down at the delivery boy with his hand still half-way in the air and his mouth half-way open.

"So, in other words, we'll die of boredom." Bender puffed a freshly lit cigar. Leela looked at him like he was stupid. That look was usually reserved for Fry, but occasionally, Bender got it too.

"What planet is this anyway?" Fry asked as she handed him the package and they prepared to exit.

"Olde Salem 12." Leela replied checking the clipboard.

"Say what?" Fry's voice dropped.

"You know the planet that was founded by the ancestor's of the victims of the Salem witch burnings in the 1600's." Leela explained.

"W..witches?" Fry stammered.

"No, no, no. They founded this planet as a memorial to their lost ancestor's, who were falsely accused of witchcraft, by a bunch of dim-witted religious nuts." Leela explained further.

"Witches?" Fry said again.

"Fry, their are no witches, just voodoo wizards, sorcerers and magicians."

"There's a difference?" Fry asked.

"Yes, voodoo wizards, oh never mind." Leela rolled her eye.

They walked the cobblestone streets onward to their destination. The buildings devoid of anything futuristic looking, they were old old timey looking. There were no hover cars, just horse and buggy and not even hover buggy either, they had regular primitive wheels. People were dressed like puritans in pilgramish, amish styled clothes. Its like the place didn't belong in the year 3000.

A old puritan woman, spotted Bender, a metal man, smoking a cigar.

"He beith made of witchcraft." She shrieked pointing a long boney finger at Bender. People around them started whispering.

"Look, that creature doth have but one eye", "She beith a witch." Were amoung the whispers.

"Oh Lord, look we just came to deliver a package." Leela explained.

"They came in a spaceship from the skies. They beith sky devils, sent from beyond to taketh out souls." Someone called.

"There are simply too many crazies in this sector." Leela put her hand on her head.

The townspeople began chanting, "Witch, witch, witch." Very soon the trio found themselves locked up in the _'Ye olde jail'_

"Great just great, Leela, you said this place was perfectly safe." Bender contested.

"How the hell was I to know the people here were looney." Leela defended.

"Yah, I thought there would be witches, but it turns out they think we are." Fry held on to the bars. A puritan guy came up.

"Witches, are thoust ready for thoust trial?" he asked in a piss-poor puritan accent.

"Wow, they really suck at this puritan thing, dont they?' Bender put in.

"Sure do." Fry replied Leela nodded in agreement.

In _'Ye olde court'_.

"Thou standth accusedth of being made from witchcraft. Doth thou pleadth guilty." Ask Goody Marshall.

"No." Bender took another puff.

"Silence, ye knowst that thou was constructed using witchcraft, repenteth." Marshall hit his fist in his hand.

"What? Haven't you jerkwads ever seen a robot before?" Bender asked.

"Nay." The crazy puritan folded his arms.

"Well, bite my shiny metal ass, and good day to you sir." Bender folded his metal arms. People began to whisper.

Leela was now in the witness chair.

"I'll proveth, she beith a witch. For thoust can plainly see this creature only harborth one eye." Marshall contested.

"You're really badth at this." Leela mocked.

"Aha! A confession. She beith a witch." Marshall pointed, hopping up and down.

"No, I'm not a witch, if I was I'd turn all of you into toads." Leela crossed her arms.

Three, eighteen year old to twenty-something, girls sat in the front, they began shivering.

"Cold, cold, cold," they chanted together.

"The witch maketh us cold." One said in a preppy voice.

"Oww, she pulleth my hair." the girl holds her head like she was in pain. Leela wanted to make her dream a reality.

"Oww, she poked me in the eye. Thou wantst me to look like thee." The girl shrieked holding her left eye.

"This is really stupid. What have you all been drinking? I'm not a witch, none of us are." Leela stood up, two puritans held knives on her. She sat back down.

"Silence, hag, or I'll send thee to ye olde gallows." The judge banged his gavel.

"You really suck at this lingo." Leela replied.

Fry sat nervously in the witness chair.

"Thou standth accusedth of being a witch. How doest thou plead?" Marshall hounded.

"Uhh..not guilty..eth." Fry nervously smiled. One of the girls shrieks loudly.

"The witch!" she yells, "his specter toucheth me!" the girl starts writhing, twisting, and screaming amounst peoples gasps and whispers. She slides down to the floor rubbing her body like she was masterbating or something.

"Help, pulleth it off." she yells moaning.

Some of the men watched a little too close, the women prayed for her soul. Fry looked on a bit shocked. Leela looked uncomfortable, Bender continued to smoke, not carring.

"Bring," the puritans voice came out like a prepubesent boy, he cleared his throat, "bring some holy water."

"Witch, pulleth thoust demon specter off of Goody Wilson at once." The judge demanded.

"But I..I'm not doing anything I swear." Fry yelled.

"Fry! How could you, your specter is mine and mine alone." Bender shouted at the confused and afraid delivery boy.

"But, I'm not doing anything." Fry continued to protest.

"Bender, you're not helping." Leela scolded.

The girl is screaming orgasmically.

"Looks like shes enjoyingth this too much." Goody Rogers whispered to Goody Charles.

"I'll sayeth." Charles replied. The two carried some holy water over and poured it over the girl. She stops and the other two began to comfort her. They began praying.

Goody Donaldson sees the girl wet and after the earlier display, "I musteth goeth now..to do the...see ya." He quickly exits.

"Goody Donaldson, that beith a sin." The judge yells.

"I don't giveth a damn." He yells.

"Oh for crying out loud." Leela voices her frustration.

"I sentence thee to hangth in the gallows for the rape of Goody Wilson's soul, byeth thous specter." the judge banged his gavel.

"Bu..but my specter didn't touch her!" Fry gasped. Two puritans came forth to carry Fry away.

"Bender, Leela, help me!" Fry called.

"Wait, please we're just here to deliver a package."

"My verdict standth." the judge banged the gavel again.

"Yah, you're gonna have to get your lingo right if you're gonna continue to act stupid chump." Bender put in angry.

Thr trio is wheeled out in two seperate carts through the town to the gallows. Fry occupied the first cart, Leela and Bender in the second. Their wrists and legs bound by chains and shackles.

"Hang in there Fry, we're working on something," Bender called to Fry, he turned to Leela, "So big boots, how we gonna save Fry and ourselves?"

"I don't know. If I could get out of these damn chains, somehow." Leela looked at the bending robot.

They came up to _'Ye Olde Gallows',_ The carts stopped, Leela was pulled out by her hair by force.

"After the raping witch dieth, so thou will followeth." The judge states.

"What? But I wasn't sentenced to death?" Leela protests.

Goody Charles and Rogers open Fry's cage. Fry scooted to the very back of the cage.

"Hehe uh, can't we talk about this?" They drug Fry out, "ow ow ow, easy these..ow!"

"We're thoust easy on Goody Wilson?" Charles asked.

"But I didn't, ow." they drug an uncooperative Fry up the steps of the gallows.

"Bringth out the magnets." The judge called.

"Magnets?" Bender drew his attention up.

"So the metal man canst beith executed as wellth." He called.

"Ohh." Bender looked back down.

"Remind me to kill the Professor if we live." Leela said struggling with Marshall, holding her with one arm behind her back, and one of his hands on her head.

"Can do." Bender said solemly.

Fry ducked as a brown sack was to be put over his head. Rogers and Charles held him still. He could be heard whimpering as the bag was put over his head despite his struggling, it was tied around his neck. Next came the noose, the hung rope pulled tight on his throat.

"Hang the witch, hang the witch" rose from the crowd.

"Oh my god, Bender do something or Fry's dead." Leela continued to flinch away from the knife held at her throat.

"I'm trying." Bender yanked and jerked at the chains, finally he bent them enough for them to break. He busted through the cage.

Meanwhile the huge magnet was being rolled out by five exhausted puritan men.

"Damneth this thing beith heavy." One panted.

Bender took towards Fry, "I'm Free! In your face suckers!" Bender laughed arms in the air in triumph.

One of the puritans activated the magnet The magnet started draging bender close to it. Bender's happiness diminished

"Oh no not the magnet." He grabbed a wooden pole and hung on for dear life, he began singing _'Swing low sweet chariot', _again.

"Oh shit." Leela said observing Bender holding to the pole with his arms, his legs dangling in the pull to the side. He looked like a flag.

"Ouiet one-eyeth witch." Marshall commanded.

"Thats it." Leela raised her shackled hands and cracked the puritan in the head. She retrieved his keys and unlocked her shackles.

"Stopth her, stopth the witch." another yelled.

"Thoust goeth down, h'yah." Leela mocked as her boot met his face.

"Leela help me!" Fry screamed.

"Hold on Fry!" Leeala kicked another.

"Jimmy crack corn, and we're so boned ahhaha." Bender sang and whined. Knowing he was about to be pulled apart.

"You too Bender." Leela flipped over another's head.

"Is Bender okay?" Fry asked.

"No, the magnets, h'yah, drawing him near." Leela continued kicking puritan booty.

Fry started struggling to get free.

"Pulleth the lever, now Goody Stauton." The judge ordered. Fry broke the cuffs. Stauton pulled the lever and the trap door fell from beneath fry.

"Frrrrrry!" Bender screamed as the humans body dangled in the air struggling still.

Leela got a gun out of one of the puritans pockets. People gasp.

"Goody Monroe haveth a gun he beith a witch." Someone pointed.

"Thats not..beith mine, I goteth off the cyclops." Monroe defended.

Leela shot at the rope, the lazer hit it and it broke. Fry's lifeless body fell a good thirty feet to the ground through the hole. Leela aimed the gun at the puritan operating the magnet.

"Turn it off now, or I'll blast you to hell." She warned. The guy shrieked like a teenage girl and cut the magnet off. Bender clung to the pole and stopped singing.

"Everybody back or I shoot you." Leela dared aiming the gun at the crowd.

"Whateth a bitch." Donaldson said with folded arms. Everyone stares at him.

"I meanth a witch. I saidth witch..hehe." He corrected.

Bender held his head. "Ah man I thought I was done for, wheres Fry?"

"Oh no, Fry." They run over to where he fell.

They found him siting on his ass, struggling to get the bag off, growling in anger. The bag ripped off, Fry's eyes were blood-red, Leela had to blink to make sure she sees that his canine teeth aren't grown out in length. His cuffs have been broken like they were made of paper. One still dangles intact on his left wrist.

"Stopth the witches.." The judge cries coming over to them.

Growling, Fry leaps up and grabs the pot-bellied judge and pins him against one of the wooden legs of the gallows. He snarls at the fat puritan. The judge would scream, but he's too busy wetting himself.

"What you meant was?!" Fry growled, his voice with a hint of demonic.

"Look, please...I..we only do this as a publicity stunt."

"You mean you sacrifice innocent lives for entertainment?" Fry growled.

"Ye..yes, but you see people here are very bored..we have to do something..so we hired you to deliver a package..we didn't think you'd be missed." The judge explained, fear riddled his voice.

"I should tear your throat out!" Fry screamed at the blubbering judge

"Please no..I.."

Leela Blinked, "It's okay Fry, let him go."

"Shut up Leela, this bastard tried to hang me." Fry looked back at her.

"Fry, you need help, put him down." Leela pleaded, Fry looked back at the puritan

"What you meant was?" He growled.

"You're free to go, just please, please don't kill me." The judge begged. Fry dropped the judge and walked off.

"Lets go now." Fry demanded still angry.

"But we still have a package to deliver." Bender was obviously not paying attention.

"Fuck the package." Fry yelled.

The puritans let them board the ship, but what choise did they have? With Leela weilding a gun and Fry threatening to tear anyone apart who tried to stop them. Fry went to his Cabin and slammed the door.

It took an Earth days flight to get back home, four days leering until the Earth full moon. Leela and Bender join the rest of their employees in the Lounge. Professor and Hermes sat playing chess, Amy's watching television, Nibbler curled up in her lap sleeping peacefully.

"Professor why did you send us to the god-awful planet?" Leela asked.

"He always sends us to our death Leela, why are you surpised?" Bender points out.

"You said that those people were the ancestor's of the Salem witch trials and they were harmless." Leela contested.

"Well Leela, if you had not of skipped the orientation, you'd of known what you were up against." Professor informed.

"'Dose lousy greensnakes, became obsessed with 'der ancestor's heritage." Hermes added.

"Oh, my yes. They became so crazy, they came to believe in their self-righteous beliefs. They view everyone as a witch." Professor continued.

"Well thanks to that lack of info, we were nearly hung." Leela sat down.

"And magnecuted." Bender threw in.

"And Fry nearly killed their judge." Leela added.

"He did wha...oh my." Professor readjusted his glasses.

"Thats what those puritans get. Have you seen the way they dress, smesh." Amy voiced her opinion. No one paid any mind.

"Oh my yes the puritans of 'Olde Salem 12'. They view everyone to be a witch. So they have a stupid trial and send the condemned to the gallows to hang. To my knowledge, you three are the only survivors since the planet was founded in 2692." Professored continued on.

"Wait a second? They didn't believe in modern things, but they had a giant magnet." Bender huffed getting out a beer and taking a drink.

"Hay, when you're crazy, you're crazy mon." Hermes added

"Where is that no good nephew of mine?" Fry stormed in. He growled and grabbed Professor by his jacket.

"Ohhh my." Professor cried.

"What is your problem old man. All you ever do is send us to certain death. Do you want us to die?" Fry shook the scientist.

"Fry, let him go. It's my fault for not listening to the Professor's usual speech. If I had of then I would've known how to handle the delivery." Leela stated. Fry looked back at Leela then released the Professor. Fry growled and left the room.

"What is that boys problem?" Professor asked as he straightened his clothes.

"Could you keep it down, I'm trying to watch 'All My Cicuits'." Amy called.

"Oh boy!" Bender sat down beside her. Leela sighed and sat on the arm of the couch.

That night, Robot Arms Apts: Bender and Fry lay in bed. Bender used to sleep in his closet sized room. But since he and Fry became a couple, Fry insisted on him sleeping with him. He couldn't deny him. Robots could sleep just about anywhere anyway, hell once he had slept under a rock. Yesterday was hell, and today was boring. Whats worse than having someone try and kill you? Being bored to death. Bender noticed Fry was leering at him. He scanned the robot. Sure Fry seemed different and was probably going nuts, but he was still his Fry. Still, his new attitude was worrying him. Fry 'walked' his fingers up Bender's arm and across his metal body, laying his arm across him. Fry looked at Bender sweetly.

"You know, my specter still has some energy left." the human smiled.

"I knew you were cheating on me." Bender joked.

"Hay its my specter's fault, not mine." Fry smiled.

"Well tell your specter to behave." Bender replied as Fry began placing soft kisses near his mouth.

"I'll do that Bender." Fry assured between kisses. Fry raised up and swung his leg over Bender straddling him. Fry placed his hands on Bender's shoulders. The human stared down into the automaton's eyes. He was feeling extremely deviant tonight.

"Come on Fry aren't you tired?" Bender knew better than to ask that, since today was boring, and Fry had been sleeping alot more during the day, and prowling around at night. Or just watching television. Leela blames his increased energy. She says it causes restlessness.

"Nope." Fry bent (no pun intended) forward and began kissing the metal mouth of the robot. The human moaned softly, Bender held on to the small of Fry's back. The human raised up and threw his shirt off then went back in for more.

Next door the two usually squeaky robots, heard the same sound coming from their neighbors room.

"Hay, could you keep it down?" One yelled.

He recieved a "Screw you, jerk." from Bender through the wall.

**First the puritan people of 'Olde Salem 12' are just a stab at how stupid and blind those people were. I don't know that much about how they talked, so I made these people use a lot of "Ye, doth, thou, and thee." Also alot of their words ended in "eth" or "th". These are not spelling errors, they are deliberate. I don't care if its not how they really talked back then, these puritans are crazy like the Nordics, so they feel they have to talk like that. You'll notice that when the judge begins talking normal. I wanted the word "be" to have a "th" on it, but that spelled "beth", so i added an "i", its spelled "beith", sorry for the confusion. Don't lecture me this was just a mock of the way the people acted during the Salem witch trials**

**And yes thats what lycanthropy really means. I'm not being rude, but you can't expect everyone to know werewolf lore.**

**That last scene turned out different than I wanted it, I wanted it sinister, but I can't force it. There's always later chapters. I know the thing about the robots next door reminds me of another fan fiction, you should know the one. I wasn't copying it, I wanted to do a vice versa, from when Fry did that to them in 'A fishful of dollars', only no "sorry", was exchanged. **

**Sorry if anyone feels offended, I have a habit of being Terrah-ble.**


	5. Werewolf of New New York

**Okay, I'm kind of disappointed that this one has no reviews. I know it's my own fault for saying I didn't care if people thought it sucked, but I'm sorta starting to think it sucks now. Maybe I should've downplayed the Fender relationship, sorry for trying to be different, but I couldn't juggle this one being a love story and a horror parody. Maybe I could've, but I wrote this when I thought I was doing terrible on 'Suspicions' and 'Of Metal and Flesh'. So this chapter contains drama, so give it a chance at least. I said I wasn't gonna apologize, but I'm sorry if you think it's bad. I didn't think it was the worst story in the universe, I still don't, but that's my opinion. I had just hoped someone would find it interesting if nothing else. But I'll give it time. Even though this one isn't doing well, I'm still proud of it and here's chapter five.**

**Don't Fry Wolf!**

_Chapter Five:_

_Werewolf Of New New York._

Opening sequence; 'It has bite!'

Three days until the Earth full moon. Planet Express, Conference Room.

"Now do you believe me?" Bender asked looking at Leela with concern.

"I believe Fry believes it. I don't believe it's true." Leela was growing tired of this discussion.

"Come on Leela, open that big eye of yours." Bender continued.

"If you could only remember what you saw in the woods that night." Leela added.

"Good news, everyone. Wait wha...where's Fry?" Professor shuffled in and sat down in his usual chair.

"He didn't want to come in today, senor senile." Bender chimed in.

"Why the hell not?" Farnsworth demanded.

"Eh, something about not wanting to risk his life for a package of no value." Bender replied taking a long drink of Olde Fortran.

"Ewww, that boy. If he weren't my uncle I'd..I'd," Professor sounded angry, "anywho, today you'll be going to Fantasy Planet." Professor's tone went to it's usual demeanor.

"Fantasy Planet? I love that place." Zoidberg dug through the trash for food. he found a old soup can and made terrible noises getting at the left over residue inside.

"Too bad that no good uncle of mine wont get to have all of his hopes and dreams come true. Off you go." Professor tented his fingers enjoying the thought of something.

"Ah, he has everything he needs in me, Bender." Proclaimed the often arrogant robot.

Fry paced nervously in the apartment living room.

"Leela's right," he said to himself outloud, "There are no werewolves"

'Then explian the monster on 'Planet de Paris' Phil.' the voice in the back of his head challenged.

"I can't, I can't explain it." Fry replied.

'It was a werewolf you dummy and you're becoming one.' the voice replied

"No. Leela said..and Leela's always right. She's the smart one." Fry ran his fingers through his hair.

'Leela didn't believe you about bigfoot or the mermaids, Phil.' the voice pointed out.

"No, it was just a dream. I was drunk." Fry protested.

'You only had one beer.' the voice reminded.

"No, shut up. Shut up!" Fry went into the bathroom and searched the drawers for an aspirin. He looked up to see his reflection gaping at him. He turned to the side, but out of his peripheral vision he saw the reflection did not. It continued to stare.

"You know what you saw." The reflection said aloud.

"Ahhh no, this is impossible." Fry shrieked. He backed up against the wall. The reflection didn't do as he did.

"You're turning. You have three nights left. On that night, I suggest you lock yourself up." The reflection pointed at the freaked out delivery boy.

"I can't be a werewolf. It didn't bite me, it just scratched me 'sall." Fry grabbed at his hair.

"Sometimes a scratch is all it takes." The reflection put it's hands on it's hips.

"But there wasn't any scratch marks left." Fry protested.

"What about in your shirt?" The reflection reminded.

"Bender does like to get a little rough." Fry giggled, "But there wasn't any scratch marks left." he continued.

"Your new metabolism dummy, it made you heal over night." The reflection grew frustrated.

"That's stupid, you're stupid, I'm not a werewolf." Fry protested.

"What about your unexplained strength? And smell?" The reflection added.

"Well," Fry thought, "I've been a test dummy for the Professor before. Maybe he gave me something." Fry suggested.

"Philip," The reflectiopn sighed, "Stop being a moron. Lock yourself up on the full moon or people will die."

"Shut up! I'm not a werewolf!" Fry shouted.

"Then how do you explain this hallucination, smarty pants?" The reflection folded his arms.

Fry growled and punched the mirror causing it to shatter. Fry yelled out then noticed his hand bleeding. Glass shards stuck out from his nuckles. Shaking, Fry slowly pulled each shard out, piece by piece. Wincing as each bit of glass slid out from the deep wounds in his hand. Fry dropped them in the sink, then turned on the water. He screamed as he rinced his hand underneath it, blood mixed with water as it seeped down the drain. Fry got an old t-shirt and wrapped his hand up. He went into the living room and plopped down on the couch, he picked up the remote and turned on the television.

"Some tv will calm me down." Fry sighed flipping through channels. "Ohhh I should of went with the crew to whatever death trap Professor sent them to." Fry added bored.

_Fantasy Planet:_ The crew had delivered the package and was now ready to enjoy some fantasy. The female neptunian youthasizer from _'The Bubbling Geezer, hot springs spa',_ now working here, explained the new additions.

"These new virtual chambers will simulate for you in your head, what your desires or fears will look like." Heather held onto her clipboard.

"Fears?" Leela asked her eye narrowed in concern.

"Yes, but it only simulates your thoughts. If you think something bad, well then that's what you will see." Heather explained further. "So becareful."

Leela laid down a tad reluctant in the chamber. A virtual mask was placed over her face. EKG stickers were placed near her heart and certain points on her arms. these were to monitor her incase she freaked out. Heather lowered the chamber lid. It looked like a futuristic tanning bed.

For Bender, they stuck a plug in the side of his head, the same hole he used to jack-on.

"This is gonna be fun on the bun." Bender closed his eye-plate. Heather closed his lid as well. Amy, Hermes, and Zoidberg were already in their respective chambers. Heather went over to a big machine to which all the chambers were controlled and pulled a electrocutioner styled lever and the simulations began.

Fry sat on the couch, bored as fuck. The television was turned off. Fry took a drink of the slurm in his good hand. He heard something in the midst of the silence. Soft buzzing. He turned his head to see a fly about a good ten feet away on the wall. It was tasting for food. Fry watched this miniture pest intruder, it was rubbing it's legs together. He heard it, it sounded like someone scrapping a knife on a piece of toast. The buzzing was driving him mad. It sounded like it was in his head, or right next to his ears.

"Shut up, stupid fly." Fry yelled he threw the can of slurm and the fly buzzed off. Fry got up and got his coat. He left the apartment, feeling fresh air would do him good and get his mind off the shit bothering him.

Leela found herself in the woods again.

"Oh, no. Hay! I screwed up, help, let me out." She shouted up to the sky.

No one heard her. Heather sat with her headphones on reading a 'Cosmoalien'.

Fry walked up to Leela.

"Fry, I'm so glad to see you." Leela replied.

"It's okay, Leela. I'll protect you from the big bad wolf." Fry replied.

"Fry, what's wrong with you?" Leela asked.

"What do you mean?" Fry asked back.

"You're acting weirld, the way you've been snapping at people, you need help, Fry." Leela answered honestly.

"I'll be alright Leela. As soon as I turn into a monster in three days." Fry eyed her seriously.

"Fry, you're not a werewolf. Listen to yourself. You just think you're one and someone's gonna get hurt." Leela tried to reason with Fry.

"No one's gonna get hurt Leela, just you." Fry replied sinister.

"What?" Leela blinked and Fry was gone.

"Fry? Stop it you're scaring me. Fry?" Leela called

Silence. Then she heard a growl from behind her. A shadow encased her form, then the beast grabbed her.

"Fry, stop!" Leela screamed as the beast dug it's fangs deep in her neck. Blood squirted on the ground.

The neptunian still didn't see Leela screaming and beating on the top of the tube with all hell. The EKG monitor was going crazy.

"F..Fry ple...ase..." Leela choked as the beast dropped her to the cold ground.

Bender sat in a jacussi filled with beer. A bad thought far from his mind. Nope he was in robot heaven, if that really existed.

"Ah, now this is the life." He filled a glass with the liquid and took a drink.

To his right; mounds of gold and jewels and coins made of silver. To his left; about ten hookerbots. Bender pointed to three.

"Uh..you, you, and you." Bender replied sauvely on the last 'you'.

The chosen fembots giggled and got in the jacussi. The others sighed in disappointment.

"Say, ladies, did I ever tell you how I saved New New York from a giant ball of garbage?" Bender wrapped his arm around the two fembots on each side of him. The fembots giggled.

"Bender!" He heard Fry yell. Bender yelled out startled.

"Fr..Fry? It's not uh..not what you think." Stammered the robot.

"Oh, really, you're cheating on me in your simulated fantasies." Fry accused.

"Fry, I have you at home I...hay wait a minute. What are you doing here?" Bender could hear Fry, he couldn't see him. The hookerbots disappeared, so did the tub and the room got dark.

"Bender." Fry called a wee bit demonic.

Bender now stood nervous and scared. Bricks made their familiar 'thud, thud, thud' as they fell from his backside.

"Fr..." Bender gulped, "Fry, this isn't funny." Bender backed over to the mounds of 'booty' and filled his cabinet full. Like it was gonna do a bit of good. Guess it was a force of habit.

"Ben-der." Fry called.

"Fry, you're seriously messed up y..you need help." Bender replied.

"Yah, but whose gonna help you." Fry snarled.

Bender turned tail and ran off into darkness. He stopped and realized he was back in that forest on 'Planet de Paris' again.

"Oh crap, I'm so boned."

He turned his head and saw himself and Fry cowering. The beast behind them. He watched the image as they turned to face it. Then he felt himself being thrown against the tree as he became one with himself. He landed with a "oof"

Bender lay in the chamber looking as if he had gotten a jolt of electricity. A bar on his eye-plate read _'recovering memory'._

Leela got to her feet. She was okay, she checked herself for wounds. Nope nothing. She gazed down the path. Something caught her eye. It was the picnic basket. Slowly she made her way to it. A pool of blood had collected underneath it.

'I've got to know what's in there.' She thought. Slowly she bent down to the basket. She grasped it with both hands and slowly rose with it. Shaking and nervous she opened the lid, closed her eye and pulled off the red cloth.

"Leela." She heard Fry's voice softly say.

She looked down and yelled, Fry's severed head was in the basket.

"You didn't believe me, Leela." his voice hateful, his eyes turned red and his ears became pointy. His teeth have elongated and red fur can now be seen sprouting on his face.

"No, no, you can't be..." Leela swallowed hard.

"You didn't believe me!" The werewolf head screamed in a demonic hoarse like voice.

Leela dropped the basket and ran off through the forest. She tripped in the leaves. She noticed the blood underneath her. It's thick and red, and is soaking into the leaves along with her clothes. She turned over and sat on her butt, observing the substance on her hands.

"Their blood is on your hands, Leela, you could have prevented this." The werewolf growled. It picked her up with force from behind.

Leela was screaming wildly as Heather raised the lid.

"Ma'am, ma'am it's okay. It's okay it's not real." Heather tried to calm her down. Two others went over to help Bender who was screaming as well.

Bender wasn't responding. One guy tried to pull the plug out of his head, but sparks shot out from it, knocking the guy back. He landed on his ass.

"You can't hurt me, I'm a robot. Now what have you done with Fry?"

"Don't you recognize me, Bender." The wolf responded.

"You're not Fry." The automaton replied.

"What do you care? You don't really love him." The wolf taunted as it neared Bender.

"That's not true." Bender opened his chest and began feeling around for something in the mess of coins and necklaces and such.

"Where's that holy water I stole from Father Changstein El Camahl?"

The wolf picked Bender up and held him against the tree, ready to tear the robot apart.

"Please, Fry, I know you're in there. It's me Bender." the robot pleaded.

The wolf drew back and hit inside Bender's cabinet, then drew back howling in pain. The silver coins were burning it.

Finally the lever was pulled down, they jerked the plug out of the side of Bender's head. Bender sat up and looked around, glad to be out of that nightmare and contemplating lawsuit.

"Bender are you okay." Amy asked.

"No, I think I remember what I saw in the woods."

Back to Fry. Fry walked the streets, his hands shoved in his pockets, slouching as usual. He failed to notice a shadowed figure looming in an alley as he pasted by. The shadow moved from the alley. She was a female, her dark brown hair covered with a black hat. A black duster coat covered up a gray shirt and black pants. She followed behind suspiciously for a while. Fry didn't notice. He heard someone behind him sure, but hell it's a huge ass city and it's a free country, he thinks. The woman scanned Fry's body with critique, then ducked back down another alley. A dog stopped and began growling at Fry. It barked and whined as if Fry were a treat.

"Ohh, would you stop it?" Fry said frustrated. The dog continued to growl, so Fry growled back, not in an evil way, just as himself. The dog whimpered and ran off.

"Hehehe." Fry chuckled and continued on his way.

Planet Express downstairs laboratory:

"What do you mean, you can't remember?" Leela demanded

"Sorry, it's lost again. Oh Fry's in danger and I can't help him." Bender started to cry about the way he usually does.

"dere 'dere Bender mon." Hermes put his hand on Bender's shoulder and offered the robot comfort.

"Professor? Can't you retrieve Bender's memory?" Leela asked.

"I'm sorry, Leela, we've went all through Bender's memory. We found things I can't wait to forget. But the trip to 'Planet de Paris' is missing. My guess is that they pulled the plug out of Bender's head before his memory had time to fully recover." Professor explained

Amy was at a computer with Bender's memory downloaded to it. Frantically she typed and searched. She kept getting _'file not found.' _

"Bender!" Amy turned with her hands on her hips. Not liking the image of her with some guy she can't remember from about five years ago.

"Ewww, remind me to post that on the internet." Bender replied. Amy looked sternly at the robot then hit the delete button.

"File erased." an automated voice responded.

"Ohhh." Bender hung his head, "Welp, glad I got it on back up."

Amy hit another button "Backup files erased, along with thirty terabytes of porn." the voice responded.

"This time you've gone too far, Wong." Bender pointed at Amy.

"Oh and what are you gonna do?" She asked.

"Just you wait and see, I'll get you when you least expect it." Bender said under his breath.

"What was that?" Amy looked back.

"Uh..nothing." Bender stopped then got back to hatching an evil plan to pay Amy back.

"Hay, what's this?" She replied. She neared the arrow to a folder, _'Memories of Fry.'_

"Uh...you don't wanna go in there." Bender replied.

"Okay." Amy quickly exited the folder.

"This wangs chung." Leela let out the breath she was holding.

"However, there is a slim ray of hope. For you see, I'm working on a memory ray for robots. It's identical to the human one, but this one works on robots. It will be done in a couple of days." Professor announced.

"We haven't that much time." Leela replied.

"Wha? I'm sorry Leela, but you can't rush science." Professor replied. The insulted mad scientist put his hands on his hips.

In some bar, not O'Zorgnax's pub. A woman was flirting with Fry.

"So Mr. Fry, you really own a million dollar delivery company?" She said in a snobby nasely voice that would make paint peel.

"Why, yes I do. We deliver to all sorts of exotic places." Fry took a drink.

"Who do you deliver to?" She batted her eyes and flung her long blond hair out of her way.

"Oh, no one special; Kings, Queens, celebrities." Fry replied.

"Eww celebrities, go on Mr. Fry." She squealed.

"Please, call me Fry."

Bender walked into his and Fry's apartment.

"Fry, you home?" He asked.

Silence ensued. The apartment was empty.

Bender looked around and sighed "Well, maybe he's not out killing."

Fry and that girl, Suzie, entered a motel room, kissing. Fry threw off his jacket as she struggled to get out of her top. Fry gazed down at her blouse which was button up. He grabbed each side of it and ripped the shirt off, buttons flew to the floor. Suzie starred at him, now hornier over such a macho display. She flung her arms around Fry's neck and pressed her lips to his, both tumbled backwards on the bed.

Bender flipped through the channels. 'At least everyone's over Paris' head.' He landed it on 'All my circuits'.

"Calculon, I can't go on loving you til you know the truth. Benzoil is not my brother. He's, he's your father!" Monique says.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" Calculon screams.

"Eh, saw it coming." Bender pulled out a beer.

Suzie was down on the bed, her skirt pulled up. Fry grabbed her panties and pulled them off.

"Come on you animal." Suzie purred as he undid his own pants. She let her eyes trail his body, eh he wasn't the hottest man she had been with, but damn there was something about this one she couldn't refuse. Though she rarely refused anyone. Fry poised over her as he kissed her neck. Suzie groaned with pleasure as he located the hot spot and entered her.

"Where is Fry? It's twelve a.m. But then again, do I really want him here?" Bender said aloud pacing the floor.

'Course I do. What kind of question is that?' Bender asked himself.

"Well, I didn't mean that. I...I just don't want to face him as a werewolf." Bender answered himself. He knew there was a possibility that Fry wasn't really a monster, but still Fry seemed sick in the head right now, and Bender didn't want to face that either.

"Yes, yes, yes, fuck yes!" was heard being screamed from room 789, thumping was heard next door by scared-as-fuck newly weds. A picture fell from their wall as a result. They swore to the front desk that they had heard growling, animal growling, when they called down to complain.

Fry waved good-bye and closed the door to the hotel room. He swung his jacket over his shoulder with a smile and headed home.

Bender continued to pace back at 'Robot Arms Apts' til finally Fry walked in. Looking a bit dishelved.

"Hay, Bender, how was the mission?" He greeted.

"Fine, fine. Where did you go today? And why do you smell like 'Good-bye Kittie number seven'?" Bender sniffed Fry.

"Oh that crazy bitch at the mall sprayed me with it." Fry lied.

"Okay, uh, what happened to the bathroom mirror and your hand?" Bender asked.

"Oh, nothing Bender. I just had an accident is all." The cuts were now faded to mere scratches at this point.

Fry threw down his jacket, went into the kitchen and got a packet of raw meat. He entered the living room, sat down on the couch and tore open the meat. He bit a big chunk out of it and started chewing it. Not sadistically, but just as normal as if it were a bag of chips.

"Uh, Fry? Why haven't you wore your watch?" Bender asked.

"Uh...I was...I was going to." Fry stammered.

"Ware it now." Bender took the watch out of his chest cabinet. Fry stared at it.

"I uh...it's late...can't I ware it tomorrow?" Fry fidgeted as if the watch were a death sentence.

"Sure okay." Bender put the watch back for safe keeping. No for real, safe keeping.

Fry finished and dropped the sterophone plate on the already littered ground.

"Welp, I'm exhausted," Fry yawned and stretched, "I'm going to bed, you coming?"

"Maybe in a little while. I missed Elzar today and they rerun it at 1:30."

Fry rolled his eyes, got up, walked into the bedroom and shut the door.

Planet Express building: Hanger. Two days until the Earth full moon.

Leela and Amy stood talking.

"I just don't know Amy. Fry's been different. It's scaring me and yet it's bringing up some other confussing emotions." Leela looked down at her boots.

"Like what?" The martian asked intrigued.

"It's like when he had those worms." Leela replied.

"Oh that."

"But his arrogance, and "abusive" ness is turning me off." Leela made qoutations on the word 'abusive' to signify that Fry wasn't cruel, just more agressive.

"Leela, Bender would kill you if you made a move on Fry." Amy replied checking her make-up. It was still good so she put away the compact mirror.

"I know. I like Fry when he's not stupid and I'm ashamed to admit, it gets me going to see how strong he's become." Leela confessed.

"Face it, Leela, you're attracted to jerks." Amy made her point.

Fry walked into the Employee Lounge, he could hear distant voices. He stoped and listened for a second and they became clear, it was Leela and Amy. He could hear them as if they are right next to him.

"I do not like Jerks. Besides Fry's still stupid and still immature, even in his current condition." Leela went on.

Fry growled upon hearing this. He went toward the hanger, entered the Conference room and went down the steps. Leela and Amy noticed his presence imediately.

"Hay Fry." Leela greeted, hoping he heard nothing.

"Can it, Leela. I never was important enough for you, was I?" Fry stated.

"What are you talking about?" Asked a stunned Leela.

"I heard what you said." Fry growled.

"You did? How?" Leela asked more stunned.

"It's you and your high ass standards. Not to mention your piss poor judgement, which leads you to screw whatever jerk you feel sorry for." Fry pointed a finger at Leela.

"Fry..." Leela was cut short.

"But I wasn't good enough. You feel sorry for me 'cause I'm stupid, but you didn't sleep with me. Oh, no. You slept with Zapp and Alcazar out of pity." Fry continued.

No one noticed Bender listening in the kitchen as he prepared brunch.

"But did you give me the time of day? Hell no." Fry angerly went on.

"Would you have wanted it?" Leela's voice sounded as if she was fighting tears, "Even if I had gave myself to you out of pity, would you have taken it?"

Fry stopped and folded his arms.

"I made my mistakes Fry, and so did you. But I wasn't willing to tarnish our friendship over sex. I didn't have a friendship with Zapp. And as for Alcazar, it was to save what I thought were my people." Leela continued.

"Oh, that's a big load. You're nothing but a pity-whore." Fry accused looking Leela square in the eye.

Leela slapped Fry, and pretty damn hard. Amy had backed way back near the ship and was watching in silence. Fry turned back angry and grabbed Leela's arms. She struggled to break free.

"Fry, let me go. Don't make me hurt you." Leela warned, but she was actually a little scared.

"I loved you. And it wasn't good enough." Fry growled.

"Fry, don't do something you're gonna regret." Amy tried to pull Fry off Leela.

"What about Bender?" Leela asked.

"What about him? He's just a machine..." Fry paused when he heard Bender crying behind him.

Fry turned his head to look at the automaton, who ran off sobbing into his hands. Fry's gaze softened then he looked at Leela. Who was frightened, mainly for her friend's sanity. Fry sighed and let her go.

"Sorry Leela, I...I don't know what came over me." Fry's voice was remorseful and sounded sad.

"Fry, you need help badly." Leela replied rubbing her arms where Fry had grabbed her.

"There is no helping me." Fry walked off, with his hands in his pockets and his head bowled in disgrace.

"Fry? Wait, please" Leela started crying still holding her left arm with her right hand. Amy put her arm around the cyclops and held her, offering comfort for once.

Robot Arms Apts: Fry came through the door, that blond, Suzie right behind him.

"Hay, Bender. Look I'm sorry about how I acted, I just have alot on my mind." Fry explained

"You still have feelings for Leela." Bender stated hurt.

"Well yah, Bender, but I..." Fry was cut short.

"Oh save it.." Bender noticed Suzie, "Wait whose this bimbo?" Bender narrowed his eyes at the intruder.

"Oh this is Suzie." Fry got his suitcase and started packing.

"What are you doing?" Bender asked perplexed.

"I'm leaving for a while, Bender." Fry stated calmly.

"But, but..."

"Listen metal head. There's certain things a man needs. And some dumb robot just can't give it to him." Suzie interupted with her infinite knowledge.

"Bite my shiny metal ass, bimbo. No one's talking to you." Bender turned back to Fry. Suzie stood with her hands on her hips looking very insulted.

"Fry, come on I...I love you." Bender replied softly.

"You can never love him as much as I do." Suzie pointed a finger at Bender.

"She's right Bender. Do what you will with the rest of my stuff." Fry replied

"What about your job?" Bender had no idea he was that desperate to bring up work.

"Tell them I quit." Fry answered.

"So that's how it is huh? Well stupid meatbag, Bender don't need you." Bender folded his arms and turned away.

"I knew you'd understand. Well good-bye." Fry got his bags and walked out the door. Suzie turned and gave a snotty look at the heartbroken and confused robot before following him out. The door slid shut.

"So long jerkwad." Sadness plaqued Bender's voice. He broke down crying again.

**Alright, there's the fifth chapter. I keep thinking I should pull the story, but I'll give it time. It's at least been damn fine practice for me. As I keep saying, my spelling, typing and puncuation are off. **

**And so I was forced into it. I broke them up. It may become fluff, it may not. Will I put them back together? I don't know. In the next chapter things get a little hairy as Fry finally becomes his worst nightmare, I promise. **

**Oh and for the love of Sweet Zombie Jesus, review, someone!!**


	6. Lil Red Howling Wolf

**Sorry this has took so long, I was hard at work on the others. Well I am so glad to see that I have a couple of reviews, thank you, I truly am grateful. Warning: this chapter contains some sexual content, though not pornographic, language, and horrific werewolf snacking.**

**Don't Fry Wolf!**

_**Chapter Six:**_

_**'Li'l Red Howling Wolf!'**_

_Opening Sequence:_ 'Have you fed your werewolf today?'

The next day; _Robot Arms Apts:_

Leela knocked on the door.

"Come on, come on." She hastefully replied amongst the pounding.

Bender stumbled to the door sober again, but at home at least this time.

"Bender, open up! Fry's in danger." Leela shouted from the other side.

Bender opened the door, "I don't care, jus' lemme alone." he slurred.

"Bender, I know you're taking what Fry said a little harsh, but he's not himself anymore." Leela replied seeing the condition of the depressed robot.

"Fry still has feelings for you. He told me so 'for he got his shit and left."

"He left?" Leela sounded surprised.

"Yes, and good ridence I...oh, Leela, he don't need me no more. he said he was going off... going off.."

"Come on, Bender, spit it out. I hate when you're sober." Said the impatient cyclops.

"He left with some bimbo named Suzie."

"What?" Leela said softly.

"She told me I couldn't love Fry the way she could."

"Ohh, Bender I'm so sorry." She hugged the robot as he began to cry. "But we have to find Fry. His life could be in great danger. Tonights the full moon and if he thinks he's a werewolf there's no telling what he might do." She parted and held Bender's shoulders, looking him square in the eyes, "Professor has the memory ray done, now drink something and let's go."

Fry woke up next to Suzie, she was already awake, cuddled up to him, watching him. He was with her in her hotel suite.

"Hey sexy." She squealed.

Fry rolled his eyes over to look at her then back over to the clock; 12 p.m. He got up and went to the bathroom.

"Well, that's some fine attitude." She huffed wrapping up in the silk sheets.

_Planet Express; Upstairs Laboratory:_

"Good news everyone, Fry's blood test came back today and it contains some very bad news." Professor announced.

Leela was pacing back 'n' forth, ignoring eberyone else, and letting her mind weigh the options.

'Fry is crazy, but he's not a werewolf. He can't be, that's impossible.'

"His blood test? When did you take a blood test?" Amy perked up.

"Oh my, the day after his outburst at Elzar's when Leela had me to conduct all those painful and humiliating tests on him." Professor answered.

"But you said the test said he was normal." Leela said breaking from her pacing.

"Wha..? I don't recall doing any tests, oh now where was I? Oh yes, the tests. The blood test I administered took awhile to come back. It's here now." Professor rambled.

"Well quit blubbering and read them already." A sober and impatient Bender rushed.

"The blood tests show..." Farnsworth took the paper with the analysis out of it's envelope and readjusted his thick glasses. "Oh, my..."

"What is it?" Amy asked curious as everyone else.

"This can't be right." Professor said, Leela grabbed the paper which read_: Blood test shows DNA from both human and canine characteristics._

For a moment Leela had a hard time standing. She leaned against a chair for support.

"No, no, no, that's impossible. There must be a mix-up." She said staring at the Professor.

Back at the hotel suite: Fry looked in the mirror.

"Tonights the night, Phil." His reflection said out of the blue.

"Ahhh, stop doing that!" Fry replied startled.

"Listen to me Phil, ditch the whore and lock yourself up." The reflection warned.

"N..no, you're not real. I'm not a goddamn werewolf." Fry put his head in his hands, wishing it'd go away.

"Then why did you run from your friends?" The reflection challenged.

"I..I.." Fry studdered.

"Because you're protecting them. You know deep down you're gonna turn and you don't want to put their lives at stake. Admit it, Phil, admit it damn you!" The reflection shouted.

"No, leave me alone." Fry almost whimpered.

"Oh, sorry Fry, I was just...you want any coffee?" Fry turned his head to see Suzie dressed in a bathrobe. He nodded at her bleakly, turning his head back to the mirror he saw his reflection was back to normal.

_Planet Express; Conference Room_: Professor plugged the memory ray's cord into the giant television screen.

"Now, don't worry Bender, you shouldn't feel a thing." Professor assured the robot, who was sitting in a seat near the huge monitor.

"This will allow everyone to see what Bender remembers, or in his case, doesn't remember about that night." Fransworth continued.

"So in other words, we could all get scared for life." Hermes replied.

"Up yours Rastaman." Bender pointed at the accountant. Hermes was used to Bender's demeanor so he just cocked an eye at him and remembered to dock his pay.

Professor aimed the gun at Bender and held down the trigger. A blue glow engulfed his head. An image appeared on the screen, fuzzy at first then became as clear as HD.

They saw the woods, and heard a distictively audible growl. They could see Fry's scared face to the left of Bender's vision. And the metal creaking and scrapping as Fry opened Bender's chest cabinet and retrieved the gun. Then they heard a snarl, angry, demonic, and was unlike any other animal ever heard including Decapodians.

"Fry..." Bender cleared his throat.

"Y..yes B..Bender." Fry was heard whimpering.

"If that uh..wasn't your stomach. Then we're boned."

They hear Fry gulp then saw the woods slowly go by as Bender turned around. A blood freezing scream was heard as the delivery crew saw the creature. It's eyes glowing in the dark, blood red. It's frame huge and hairy silhouetted in half dark half moonlight. It's teeth dripping hungrily with saliva. Everyone gasped and watched in horror.

Then they saw the creature's arm knock Bender away, the image of the beast got smaller until Bender hit the tree. Bender's eye-plate remained half open and they were able to see the monster swipe at Fry, and him landing on his ass before all went black. The vision skipped and Bender's eye-plate opened to see Leela standing over them. "I'm back Baby!"

Professor released the trigger. Bender shook off the tingling sensation.

"Nuh uh, that's impossible. Bender tell me you watched the 'What If machine'?" Leela broke the silence.

"Leela accept it, Fry's a werewolf." Amy put in.

Leela sat down holding her head in her hands.

"No, no, no." She continued shaking her head.

"Why is it so hard to process, Leela mon? There are all kinds of weirld things 'dese days, like smelly red lobsters always stealing food." Hermes shot an angry look at Zoidberg, the doctor closed the fridge.

"Ohhhh." Zoidberg muttered as he left with his head down.

"We have to find him before he does anything crazy." Leela stated, putting her disbelief aside.

"That's impossible." Bender replied.

"Well, we have to try something." Leela looked at the robot. Bender folded his arms.

"He got himself into this let him get himself out." he added. Leela slapped Bender and his head spun around, he caught it.

"Hay, meatbag, what gives?" Bender asked annoyed.

"Fry was at one point your best friend and at another time your lover. You've never let him down before now when he needs you the most you don't want to even try?" Leela stared at him.

"Nope." Bender replied nonchalantly.

"Well you're coming, whether you want to or not." Leela glanced at Bender, a hint of no nonsense in her eye.

_Some fancy restaurant, not Elzar's:_ Fry and Suzie sat enjoying the evening. It was nearing dusk, and Fry didn't notice an unusual brunette sitting near their table holding a newspaper. Their waiter brought out Fry's order.

"Hay, this isn't raw like I ordered." Fry looked down at the meat then shot a evil glare at the waiter. The waiter attempted to pick it up, but Fry grabbed the meat off the plate.

"Just bring me some more and this time I want it bloody." Fry tore into the meat, the waiter nodded a bit disgusted then left .

"Wow, I've never met a man with such a fascinating appetite before." Suzie gazed at him with her hands under her chin.

"Baby, you've never met a man like me ever." Fry gazed back at her with a hint of mischief that made her pussy ache. Fry tilted his head back, noticing he felt strangely funny. The sounds of people whispering during dinner conversation was in his head, getting on his nerves.

"Fry? Fry?" Suzie called.

"Huh?" he drew his attention back to Suzie.

"You okay?" She asked.

"No I..I'm not sure what's wrong with me." Fry's eyes darted around.

"Ohh, that's okay. We can go back to the motel and I'll make it all better." She put her hand on his leg and slowly moved it back to grope at his crotch. Fry felt like he was gonna faint, oh not because of Suzie. He didn't even know why he was here with her. Fry stood up.

"I...uh...I'll be back." Fry left then returned shortly after regaining his sanity. He laid money on the table.

"What's wrong tiger?" She asked.

"Nothing. I'm just... we need to go." Fry replied.

"Okay, I'm ready for dessert anyway." She cooed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to order..."

"No silly, I meant you." She feigned a sexy growl.

11 p.m. Night had fallen over the city of New New York. A bright full moon already on display in the sky over the large skyscrapers and buildings. Leela and Bender stalked the alleys. Leela equiped with a tranquilizer gun that was set to shoot out seven darts at once if and when they found him.

"Leela it's about 45 minutes until midnight." Bender broke the silence, well what silence there is in a big city.

"Shhh." Leela hushed hearing a rustling behind a dumpster. She snuck up beside it, her back against it, holding the gun. She jumped out and aimed the gun ready to fire and she caught sight of an alley cat, who hissed and darted off.

"Damn. Come on, we have to keep looking." Leela replied.

Somewhere across town:

"Come on, stud. How about some back alley lovin'?" Suzie held on to Fry's shirt collar then pulled Fry down an alley way by his arm. The reluctant delivery boy followed.

The moon glistened in the water that had filled in a pot hole. Leela's boot distorted the image as she ran through it reducing the puddle to tiny waves.

"L...Leela let's turn back and search for Fry tomorrow." Bender pleaded.

"No, we have to find him, or he may kill someone." Leela turned back to face him then continued to scan the alley with her eye.

"He may kill us." Bender muttered.

"What was that?" Leeal asked not really looking at Bender.

"Nothing." Bender replied.

Down some alley, the two stood on their knees. Suzie was down to her bra. She lifted Fry's shirt over his head and tossed it in the way his jacket had been. She began work on his zipper, undoing it slowly and then working with a fussy button. She jerked at the sides to get them down. She continued to kiss sloppily on his neck and down his chest. She let out a happy squeal as Fry picked her up wrapping arms around her and placing her on her back, which was her best position anyway. He poised over top of her.

"You wildman." She moaned licking her lips now devoid of lipstick

He tore off her underware, litterly ripping them off her body. Suzie stared at him, more horny than a bitch in heat.

"Take me.." She maoned gasping for air, "Take me now stud."

Fry Kicked his pants on off more than happy to oblige. He kissed at her throat leaving a wet trail as he pulled at his own underware trying to retrieve the correct equipment. Her nails dug into his back as she gasped his name in the sexiest voice she could muster.

The clock in the town was doing sort of a countdown; 11:59-32 seconds.

"Oh, yes, Don't stop." Suzie groaned loving the feel of Fry inside her.

Fry let out a agonized scream as suddenly he felt a sharp pain run up his back into his shoulders. It felt like his shoulder bones just broke.

"That's it baby, take what you need." Suzie held on to his underware which where still on.

Fry growled as the pain continued racking through his whole body. He got off of Suzie and darted down the alley, stopping near a dumpster.

"Ah, fuck!" he shouted hearing his voice change. "Nooo, no, this isn't happening."

He gazed down at his hands. He yelled as claws grew from his fingertips leaving blood in their wake from the tearing of skin. Hair sprouted from his hands and arms in his plain sight. He was almost afraid to look, but he had to to be sure he wasn't crazy. Fry stumbled back and caught himself on the wall. He could hear the sickening sound of his bones cracking as his frame continued to transform into a monster. Nervously, he retch up to touch a shakey hand to his face. The pain cut through his head as his nose and mouth grew out into a snout. His teeth was sharper and larger than he remembered. He moved his hands up to his ears and noticed they were pointed. The next sharp pain brought him to his knees going all the way through his arms and legs, even his tail bone. He howled in agony as he let himself go to all fours. He shut his eyes tightly wishing for all of him that this was a dream.

"Help me." were words barely made audible. His voice sounding demonic. He raised his head, his eyes now glaring red. His body had completed the turn and had left it's human state.

"Oh, Romeo, oh, Romeo? Where for art thou Romeo?" Suzie called out in a hateful tone. She had pulled her skirt down and was almost completely back in her top. She walked the alley cautiously, still none too pleased to be ditched and in an alley no less.

"Stupid ungrateful piece of shit. I'm keeping these pants. They'll fit my other boyfriend. Yah, that's right I have two." She slowly walked down the darkened alley.

"Fry, this isn't funny." Her voice almost cracked, devoid of it's earlier hatefulness, now full of slight fear. Her heart sped up in her chest.

Suzie peered into the darkest end of the alley. Two red eyes became visible.

"Fry?" she got closer. She heard a growl, soft and low, almost like a warning. She peered closer into the darkness trying to see. Then the beast lept out. Suzie fell back on her ass as the werewolf loomed over her. She screamed as it swiped at her with it's massive claws. Pretty sure her heart had now stopped she scooted back away slowly. She couldn't believe the sight she beheld. The creature bared it's teeth, snarling, saliva dripped from it's massive jaws. It was covered in hair that was a little bit more burnt in color than Fry's. It's hair stuck up at it's usual points on it's head. The beast lunged at Suzie and pinned her down, bitting into her thoat sick of the cat-and-mouse game. Her scream of terror was cut off to a gag as she began to choke. The beast ripped a huge chunk of the girls flesh out and swallowed it almost whole. The dying woman watched the wolf howl before it dove back in for more, eating out of her stomach.

"Shhh, do you hear that? Follow me!" Leela shouted on the latter part of her sentence. The robot reluctantly followed the cyclops as she headed down the alley, struggling to keep up.

"Hold it right there." That suspicious brunette shouted. She held a laser gun in aiming stance at the still feasting werewolf. She had a sultry french accent. Not typical of snotty french stereotypes. The beast glanced back at what was sure to be it's next prey.

"Yah, I'm not afraid of you, li'l red riding hood." She taunted. She shot at Fry. He howled as the laser pierced his side. She got out the tranquilizer and began to load it. Fry grabbed the gun and jerked it out of her hands. The hunter screamed as the wolf slung her against the wall, she landed with a "ohf." He jumped over top of her, ready for the kill.

"Fry! Don't!" Leela screamed. Fry turned his gaze to the cyclops.

"Shoot him, Leela, now." Bender shouted.

"I'm trying, the guns stuck." Leela almost whined.

"It's always something." Bender muttered. Fry returned to all fours and began to stalk Leela slowly.

"Come on, Leela." Bender shouted.

"I got it!" Leela happily shouted. She pulled the trigger and the seven darts entered Fry's chest. The wolf howled in pain then became woozy as it fell to the ground out cold.

"Oh, Fry, how could you?" Leela turned white as she noticed Suzie.

"Hay, that's that lousy bimbo. Good boy, Fry." Bender put in.

"Bender!" Leela scolded.

"Hurry, we must kill it." The hunter said as she approached them.

"Kill it? I don't think so." Leela eyed her.

"This beast will murder more innocent victims." The hunter protested.

"This 'beast' is our friend. No one's killing him, unless it's Bender." Leela motioned at the automaton with the gun.

"Damn straight." Bender replied.

"Now, let's get him home." Leela motioned at the wolf's body.

_Planet Express headquarters; Conference Room: _Leela, Hermes, Amy, and Bender seated around the table. Professor asleep at the table.

"Well, I'm lucky. No scratches or bites." The hunter said coming into the conference room, fresh from Zoidberg's office.

"Yippie for you." Bender took a drink of Olde Fortran, still upset about Fry.

"Who are you anyway?" Leela asked. She handed her some coffee then sit down with a cup of her own.

"My name is Marie Chastel. My lineage travels back to the 1700's to my great great, so forth, grandfather, Jean Chastel, of which I take my name. He was the first in my family to hunt werewolves, starting with the loup garou of Le Gevaudon. From 1764 to 1767 a terrible beast preyed on the rugged mountain country of South Central France, feasting on the innocent. It slaughtered over 200 victims of the terror filled village. The king had sent expeditions to rid them of the monster. Then on June 19th, 1767, fate had it that my grandfather was reading in the woods. He shot the creature with his gun filled with specially molded silver pellets. The murders ended, but even though they paraded the carcass of a huge wolf through town, people claim it was traded. Villagers who had seen this monster never descibed it as an ordinary wolf." Marie explained in brutal detail sipping her coffee.

"Why do they believe that?" Leela asked with fascination.

"No one could handle the truth of the monster's identity. But Jean knew the truth. Slowly it drove him into madness. But before it did, his experience and knowledge of such creatures was handed down through the bloodline. Now I am the only one left." Marie said with a hint of sadness.

"Did the werewolves kill your parents?" Leela asked.

"What? No, they just don't believe in such creatures." Marie gave a wicked smile.

"But that was in France, some 1,241 years ago, how'd you end up on 'Planet de paris'?" Hermes asked.

"I go where the werewolves are. Plus I liked the concept of a planet obsessed with Paris France." She sipped the coffee.

"Then how'd you end up here, hunting our friend?" Leela asked.

"I am a werewolf hunter, my job is to rid the universe of blood thirsty creatures. I don't want to kill your freind, but I can't have him killing everyone" Marie replied.

"Really. Well, I don't care what you are. Fry's a good guy..." Leela went on, this recieved praises from various crew members.

"Well, he used to be before this lousy disease changed him." Bender mumbled.

"So he was an accident?" Marie asked.

"Globviously." Amy replied.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I was stationed on 'Planet de Paris' when word got out that a member of their werewolf clan was traveling here." Marie looked down sorrowful.

"So how do we turn Fry back?" Bender asked.

"Oh, that's impossible. For you see in order to turn a werewolf back to human you must find the werewolf who bit him and he must eat it's heart." Marie continued.

"Ohh, we'll never find the one that bit Fry." Bender whined. Leela looked over at the robot whose hopes just disintegrated.

The crew walked in to find Fry vomitting, in the upstairs lab. Some blood and pieces of flesh spilled out onto the floor.

"Ewww, gross." came from the crew. Fry looked down at the unholy concoction.

"Oh, god. No, no, Fry, you didn't. It warned me to lock myself up. Why? Why, didn't I listen?" Fry was near tears as he sat holding his knees rocking back 'n' forth. He was back to normal and they had him locked in one of Professor's specialty cages. Built for atomic monsters, what have you.

"Fry, it's okay, we're here to help you." Leela knelt down and held the bars.

"Leela, how did I get here? I didn't hurt none of you did I?" Fry asked looking shaken and drained.

"No, Fry, we're okay." Leela replied. Professor unlocked the cage and they helped Fry up.

"What...what about Suzie?" Fry asked fearing the worst.

"I'm afraid, Mr. Fry, that you ate her." Marie answered.

"We found you in an alley and shot you full of tranqs to knock you out." Bender piped up, nervous. He wanted to talk to him, but their last meeting was on such awful terms, so he'd been quiet.

"Oh, thank you guys." Fry replied feeling silly he had ran the way he did.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you before. But now we're gonna do all we can to help you." Leela replied. Leela and Fry shared a friendly hug. Bender gave a unnoticed hurt look and exited the room.

They explained the situation to Fry.

"So, I'm boned." Fry replied.

"Not necessarily, Mr. Fry." Marie piped up. She put her arm around him, "I know this, uh, woman, who might be able to help us. She lives on 'Olde Salem 13'."

**The story of the loup garou of Le Gevaudon is a true legend. Jean Chastel is also true to this legend, I found the story in a book titled 'Out of the dark,' by Brad Streiger, I don't own royalties to the legend or the book, though it is one of my favorite reads. Marie Chastel, however is my character and no she isn't related to Jean, and I don't know if he was a werewolf hunter or not. Confused about 'Olde Salem 13'? I shall explain in the next chapter.**

**Until next time, becareful on the full moon.**


	7. Witches Potions and Charms

**So sorry, it's been so long. As always I am thankful for the support and I'm glad to see this one is finally gaining some. I hoped to be finished by halloween, that so did not happen, but it's no biggie, I celebrate this all year long. XD**

**Don't Fry Wolf!**

**Chapter Seven: Witches, Potions, and Charms.**

Opening Sequence: 'Brought to you by 'Werewolf Delights'; Human the other white meat.'

--

Fry gaped at Marie, he looked uneasy, "_Olde Salem 13_?" he choked out.

"Marie I don't mean to be a prude, but we had a bad experience there." Leela replied noticing Fry's scared stature, satisfied at least that Fry wasn't too abnormal.

"You've been?" Marie asked confused.

"Crazy witch hunters tried to hang me." Fry answered.

"Witch hunters? I don't quiet understand." Marie followed up.

"Yes the Puritans, they formed the planet in the 26 hundreds as a tribute to their ansestors, then went crazy and started killing vistitors for crowd displays as witches." Leela looked at her as if she was a crack-pot, who didn't know her ass.

"Oh, no, no. You are thinking of _Olde Salem 12_." Marie corrected.

"There's a difference?" Fry asked.

"But of course, my dear delivery boy. _Olde Salem 13_ is a few light years away from _Olde Salem 12_."

"That's not much of a difference." Amy snorted.

"Nonsense, _Olde Salem 13_ is inhabited by real-life, flesh-and-blood witches." Marie said seriously.

"That... doesn't make it any better." Fry said.

"Witches? Marie come on. There are no such things as witches." Leela stated, obviously she does not learn.

"Captain Leela, I read that up until yesterday you didn't believe in werewolves either. Now, you are on a quest to save your friend from spending his remaining days as a flesh craving lunatic monster, no? So, you can either relinquish your so called "that's impossible" behavior and give in to the fact that some things are real. Or, you can sit here alone and deny the truth and let your friend feast forever on the souls of others. You're a smart woman, Ms. Turanga, you make the call." Marie crossed her arms and gave a challenging stare to the cyclops.

"She didn't believe in bigfoot, or the mermaids either." Fry replied rolling his eyes.

Leela sighed, "You're right, I'm sorry. I guess it's just some things seem so fantasy inspired that it's hard to accept fiction as fact."

"That a girl. Now, we must make haste, where is your robot friend, will he be making the journey with us?" Marie said. She noted to herself that these three; the robot, the cyclops, and the red head, was always together.

"I'll go check." Amy replied helpful.

"Thank you, Amy." Leela replied as the intern left the room to go find Bender.

--

"Bender." Amy called entering the Employee Lounge, she found him sitting on the couch slouched over with his head in his hands. She heard a light whimpered sound coming from him. "Bender, it's okay." She said and sat down beside him, softly placing her hand on his shoulder.

"No, it's not, just leave me alone." He sniffled, it was apparent he had been crying, if only softly.

"Ohh, is it Fry?" Amy asked.

"Uh huh, he just don't look at me the way he does at Leela."

"Well, spluh," Amy noticed Bender shooting her a glare, "I mean, Leela will always be special to him in a way. But that doesn't mean you're not."

"I'm just a robot, Suzie was right, I can't give him what he needs. What makes it worse is now I know that there's something I'm not great at."

"Suzie, the last time anyone checked, was reduced to waste. She doesn't hold a laser to you now."

"But she did."

"No, I don't think she did. I... Fry is going through a lot. You remember how scared you was when you turned into that werecar?" Amy asked, Bender nodded, "Well, Fry's super scared now. He's not a machine, like you."

"Wong, I know we don't always like each other, and sometimes, I wanna secretly kill you, but thanks. And I'll drop that whole revenge for deleting my files crap." Bender didn't realize the moment of heartbreak had made him sink that low, but it was okay for now.

"That's, uh, sweet of you Bender." She hugged the robot, who reach up on instinct and stole her earrings. Bender chuckled to himself as the oblivious martian got up and started to leave. "Oh, Bender."

"Uh, yah." Bender tried not to sound suspicious.

"We're leaving for a planet inhabited by witches, you comin'?"

"What's in it for me, Bender?" He asked rubbing his fingers on his chin, like he was thinking.

"Well, it'd give you a chance to help out Fry and show him you care about him and stuff."

"Well, in that case, no." Bender replied crossing his arms.

Amy frustrated a bit, spoke some cantonese in a low way that told she wasn't in the mood. "Bender, you need to get over it. Fry still needs you, he needs all of us. If he doesn't get help now, we're werewolf food."

"So, he can't kill a robot as easy." Bender retrieved a beer out of his chest and opened it, letting it fizz up out of the top before taking a drink.

"I doubt that." Amy glared at him with her hands on her hips.

"Is that a threat?" Bender looked at her eyes narrowed, pointing holding the beer.

Amy sighed and looked around, "Well, you know, there might be some potions and junk you could steal and sell to those fanatics in the Harry Potter religion."

Bender perked up, "In that case, I'll be there."

--

On the ship: Leela at the controls-- duh. Fry happy, but nervous at his "co-pilot" position. Bender with his feet up, cigar in his hand, weighing his options about Fry. Amy in the engine room, checking something. Marie Chastel sat on the couch. She eyed Bender suspiciously.

"Why in all the heavens would they need a bending unit to accompany them on deliveries?" She asked. Bender turned to her, his glare a little too cold.

"Bite my shiny metal ass."

"It's okay Marie, Bender has lots of uses, isn't that right Fry." Amy walked in, no one knows how she heard the conversation.

"Oh, Bender? Sure does." Fry replied absent-mindedly. Bender had been looking hopeful, but just bowed his head. Marie took note of this.

"So, Fry, are we seeing anyone special?" She asked.

"Marie? Is this appropriate banter for werewolf hunters?" Leela asked trying to defer the conversation.

"I just want to know my 'client' better. Besides I'm not hurting anyone." She leered. She studied the robot, who was twisting at the cigar, nervously.

"Well, Mr. Fry what is it?" Marie broke the sound. Fry flushed and turned to face her.

"Ms. Chastel..." he began.

"Call me Marie."

"Marie, my girlfriend was ripped apart, by my own hands, is that enough for you." He said seriously, and Marie noticed the robot drop further into dispair.

"Are we sure, Mr. Fry...." Marie began.

"Call me Fry."

"Are we sure Fry? There is no one else." She raised an eye to him. Fry deliberately looked in the way of Bender and sighed rather sadly.

"No." He said softly. Bender stood up and left the room.

"I think, you're a damn liar." Marie said.

"What the hell do you mean?" Fry asked.

"You and the automaton." Marie accused.

"What about us?" Fry folded his arms.

"Us?" Marie grinned wicked like.

"Yah, us?" Fry raised an eye to the french huntress.

"So it's true, the two of you are lovers?" Marie picked at it as if it was a bloody scab.

"We, uh... we were." Fry gazed down sadly.

"Good, Fry. I want to help you badly, but I hate damn liars, so we need to be straight with one another from this point on, do I make myself clear?" She asked.

"Yes." Fry whispered.

"What was that?" Marie ask.

"Yes!" Fry shouted looking up, his eyes red with the beginnings of his anger.

"Very good, that will be all." Marie went over and prepared herself a martini. The rest of the crew, sans a missing Bender, decided it was best to keep out of it, hoping Marie knew what she was doing. Leela however made a mental note to ask her what she was doing later.

--

_Olde Salem 13:_ The ship landed safetly for once and the crew exited. Leela, Marie, Fry, Amy, and a reluctant Bender who had his arms crossed and was mumbling death threats under his breath. He didn't want to even go on the trip in the first place for obvious reasons.

"So where is this friend of yours?" Leela asked as they traveled through the town.

"Not too much further. She'll be able to give you something to aid you in the supression of the werewolf threshold." Marie responded. Fry gave her a dirty look still not pleased with their earlier conversation.

"Bender, why don't you offer some kind of..." Amy's whisper to the robot was cut short.

"Can it Wong." Bender reponded.

"Bender, are you gonna just give up like that?" She asked in a hush so no one else would hear. Fry heard whispering, that's all he knew.

"I mean you're not even gonna say anything? You need to tell him." Amy continued.

'Tell me what?' Fry wondered to himself.

"Okay, we are here." Marie announced upon coming to a little old old timey looking shop. _'The Witches Brew, celebrating witch myths and stereotypes since 2699.'_

The crew entered the shop behind Marie and stopped when they saw the perfect stereotype of a wicked witch. She wore a long tattered black dress, with purple and black stripped stockings. Her complexion was green and her eyes brown, her wrinkled face was accented with a black mole beside her pointed nose. She, of course, wore a black pointed witch's hat and was sweeping with a witch's broom. A black cat lept off a stool, hissed at them, then darted off as they entered. Stereotype didn't even cut it, more like copyright.

"Ah, Marie, what displeasure do I owe this occassion, deary?" She asked adding a _Wizard of Oz_ styled cackle to the end.

"My dear, dear Edna. How long has it been?" Marie greeted and they embraced.

"Edna?" Fry, Leela, and Bender simultaneously whispered.

"It's been too long, so how has werewolf wrangling been treating you on that dreadful planet?"

"Business is booming Edna, we must catch up sometime."

"Wait, I smell the blood of a rouge wolf, now, what have you brought me, Marie?" The witch asked. She sniffed at Fry. The delivery boy backed up to the wall scared as all hell.

"That's why I'm here Edna, my friend, Fry, has had the dreadful curse bestowed upon him. It was accidental, brought on by the werewolf clan of _Planet de Paris_."

"I see, I see. Too bad I can't help him." The witch cackled.

"But, please, you have to do something. Fry can't stay this way." Leela pleaded. It resulted in a "yah" from both Amy and Fry.

Edna rolled her eyes, warily, and went back to grounding up something in a small black pot.

"There is one thing I have." The witch began.

"Is it a kind of potion?" Amy asked.

"No."

"A spell?" Fry asked raising his hand.

"No, now let me finish." Edna demanded. Obviously tired of the stupidity.

"Finally, someone sees how I feel." Leela snorted.

"You put up with these idiots? Everyday?" The witch asked.

"Yep." Leela folded her arms.

"Oh, you poor, poor, deary." Edna turned to Marie and whispered, "Remind me to give that woman some of my special tonic." Marie nodded.

"Hey, witchey, what does Rosewart do?" Bender asked somewhere behind Edna.

"Tell your robot to stop touching my things or I'll have him bronzed." She replied without turning around.

"But, I'm way back here, how did you see me?" Bender asked.

"Is it magic?" Fry raised his hand again, Leela rolled her eye and gently pushed it down.

"No, he's on camera." Edna snarled. The old woman pointed a boney green finger up to the floating security camera, and the crew looked over to some television screens which held images of the room they were in, the bathroom, the backrooms, and the back-alley. The camera zeroed in on Bender who was holding his door open and a potion about to toss it inside.

"I was just...." Bender closed his door, cleared his throat, and set the potion on the shelf. "What? I was just checking the label."

"And put back my love potion." Edna crossed her arms and stared annoyed at the robot.

"Ohh." Bender groaned. He opened back the door and put the potion back on the shelf.

"Bender, why do you need a love potion?" Amy asked noticing an uneasy look on Fry's face.

"None of your business, Wong... I mean... uh... I was planning on opening back up my dating service for Valentines again. This time it was sure not to fail." Bender lied. Fry crossed his arms, huffed, and turned away from Bender's line of view. Bender saw this and slouched slightly.

"Well, as much as I would like to not know what this nonsense is about, I need to get back to my ingredients." Edna threw some herbs or whatever in to the pot. "A touch of bat brains, lizard tongue, and troll wart, mixed with powdered sugar and a hint of newt." She said stirring.

"What kind of hair-brained spell are you casting?" Leela braved asking.

"Spell? This is no spell. I'm making Fruitcake for the annual _Olde Salem 13_ bake off."

"Eww gross." Amy wrinkled her nose.

"Edna, Fry needs some of that Lycantropayne. You know, the werewolf threshold suppressant?" Marie asked.

"Sorry, deary. But those damn lupines from that dreadful _Planet de Paris_ dropped by while I was visiting my sister, they cleaned me out of it. I won't be able to make another batch til I get my wolfbane."

"Why would they need that much Lycantropayne?" Marie asked stunned.

"What the hell is Lycantro-whatever." Fry asked frustrated.

"It is a drug that Edna and I cooked up. It combines the key ingredients for supressing the werewolf disease. It was invented after I watched the movie 'An American werewolf in Paris' from the 1990's. In the movie they created a drug that was supposed to keep a werewolf under the threshold, but it failed and immediately turned the person with the lycantropic disease into a werewolf... Of course this shit falls into the wrong hands... but, that's not the point. We found away to make the drug work. If I could get my hands on some, then we could at the very least keep you from changing into a monster every full moon. It would not cure you, just act like how a diabetic takes insulin."

"And the werewolf clan took it?" Leela asked.

"Ohh, no. This is very bad." Marie started pacing, holding her head in her hands.

"What's bad, Frenchy?" Bender snapped up.

"If they have it, they could figure out how to reverse it so they could transform any night of the month instead of just on the full moon. Villagers will not be prepared, people will be killed." Marie replied anxiously.

"They're not killing anyone now?" Fry asked.

"Only every other full moon, someone will be stupid enough to travel out into the woods or to that forsaken tavern. But the werewolf clan stays out of the village, they know we watch, we hunt. The villagers lock themselves up on the full moon, arm themsleves with silver. But if they don't suspect it, they won't be ready."

"Sounds like you run a tight ship?" Leela stated impressed.

"Very tight indeed."

"Now, now, Marie. Don't you fret. You need to get word back to your crew before sundown tonight, tell them they stole the supressant. Meanwhile, I have something for you Mr. Fry wolf." Edna walked over to a drawer and pulled out a pouch on a leatherstrap necklace. She walked over to the unnerved delivery boy and put in over his head.

"Cool, what is it?" Fry held it up examining it closely.

"It's a special mix of ingredients that will keep you from transforming. But! Only if you don't take it off, especially on the full moon." Edna warned.  
"So as long as I'm waring this, I won't turn into a beast?"

"Right. But it must be worn against your skin." Edna pointed out.

"Gotcha." Fry tucked it under his t-shirt, then started to rub at the area. "Uh, is it supposed to burn?"

"Only for a little while. Until you adjust. Stop scratching it, the stinging means it's working." Edna scolded.

"What about the wolfbane?" Marie asked.

"I can't get it." Edna narrowed her eyes.

"Why not?" Leela asked.

"It's on _Olde Salem 12_." Edna replied.

"So." Fry stated.

"I'll be killed on site, I am, however, a real witch." She cackled.

"Isn't there any on _Planet de Paris_?" Marie asked.

"Yes, there is deary."

"Good, we leave right now." Leela said.

"What?" Fry, Bender, Marie, and Amy shouted.

"I want Fry back to normal. I don't like having my life and well-being threatened by one of my closest friends. Having my life and well-being threatened by Bender alone is enough. Now, let's go."

--

The crew said their good-byes to Edna 'the odd witch of the western galaxy', and boarded the ship. Fry, Amy, and Bender, mumbling death threats again under his breath entered the ship. Leela pulled Marie aside.

"Why were you interrogating Fry like that before we landed?"

"I was testing his temper, just to know what I was dealing with."

"Um huh?" Leela put her hands on her hips and stared at Marie with her eyes narrowed.

"And, I was testing his loyalty to his friend. Look, I've been assigned to Fry since you left the planet. Following him, watching him. I have never seen any two people, robots, or any other creatures, who were as close as he and the automaton. It's just awful that it had to end this way."

"Well, we might be able to salvage their friendship at least, if we can cure Fry." Leela gazed up to the ship.

"Cure him? But I already told you..."

"I know what you told me Marie. But I intend on finding the werewolf who bit him. I'll rip his heart out and feed it to Fry myself to save him."

"I've never seen such conviction of a woman before. We could use you on 'Planet de..."  
"I'm flattered, but my job is saving these idiots from one disaster at a time. Now, let's board before they think someone turned us into toads." Leela commanded and boarded her ship. Marie smiled, sure they run a tight ship on her stationed planet, but there was no such thing as this kind of closeness. It didn't have a family vibe. She shook off the warm feeling and entered the P.E. ship.

--

Leela was at the wheel, Bender was at his post whistling, Amy and Marie were talking about the death of Paris Hilton, Fry was in his cabin. Leela glanced over at Bender who had got out a photo of himself and Fry, Zoidberg ruining the shot by waving in the background. The robot sighed sadly and shoved the photo back inside his chest cavity.

"Marie? The ship's auto-pilot has a set course for _Planet de Paris_, watch it for me, I'll be right back." Leela got up and exited as Marie nodded. Bender followed her with his eyes. He knew she was going to talk to Fry. He feared their conversation. All his visions had bad thoughts of Leela throwing Fry up against the wall and having her way with him. Bender put his head in his hands.

--

Leela found Fry sitting on his hammock.

"Hey, Fry."

"Hey, Leela." Fry said sadly, not looking up at her as she entered but instead looking down at his shoes.

"What's wrong Fry?" She asked.

"Nuttin' I... I've screwed up worser than I ever have before. I took a life, I cheated on Bender. I.. I've become a monster."

"Fry, you did all that because you were under powers beyond your control. I know that you would never hurt anyone, you're not that type of person. It wasn't you who killed Suzie, it was something evil. And you're not evil." Leela reassured.

"I don't know what to do, Leela. Bender will never forgive me for Suzie, or for blatantly admitting to still loving you."

"Fry, it's alright that you still love me. I realize you probably always will, Bender does too. But, there is no me and you. There never will be. I love you as my closest friend, nothing more. You have a good thing going with Bender, strange, but good."

Fry looked up at her sadly. "You're right Leela. I miss him, I just..."

"If it's about cheating on him with Suzie... I'm sure he understands that it was the werewolf in you, not... you. He'll get over it if you behave yourself. Besides, Bender is no saint." Leela smirked.

"I just wish he'd stop with acting like..." Fry huffed and took a deep breath. "Like with the love potion. He could have just said he wanted it for me. But what does he do? Lie." Fry threw his hands up frustrated.

"I'm sure Bender didn't want to expose his deepest feelings to a dime-store witch." Leela smiled thoughtfully.

"It's not just that."

"Hey, he's come a long way with telling you what he's feeling."

"I know, thanks Leela. And I'm sorry for the way I've been acting."

"I understand. But you have to let me go. We'll never be able to make it work."

"I know, I checked the _What if machine_." Fry blushed.

"Really, what happened?" Leela asked curiously.

"You left me for some Puerto Rican sun-god, named Jose. And I ended up with Bender. But that contraption doesn't really offer anything solid."

"Well, you never know..." Leela said softly to herself.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing, Fry." Leela smiled and patted his arm before she left.

**Okay, hope that will hold some of you til I get another chapter. **

**Some of the ideas were took from 'An American werewolf in Paris.' In the movie they had this drug that was supposed to supress the stages of the werewolf threshold, or cycle, as it related to the full moon, or something like that. But the drug failed and the girl instantly turned into a werewolf and butchered her folks. Yes, the bad guys, wolves, get the drug and use it to turn any night of the month in to monsterous murderers. I sorta did some reversing of my own. I can't remember if the drug had a name in the movie, I named it Lycantropayne. Lycantropy - 'Y' + ayne. **

**The pouch gaven to Fry by Edna was from the movie 'Wolf'. I haven't seen that movie in a while, but I remember a necklace given to Jack Nicholson to stop him from transforming.**

**My witch Edna-- not the same Edna from 'Why Must I Be A Crustacean In Love.'**


End file.
